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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29592699">I Knew You, I Walked With You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/literalfuckinggarbage/pseuds/literalfuckinggarbage'>literalfuckinggarbage</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Critical Role (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Amnesiac Mollymauk Tealeaf, Caleb Widogast Deserves Nice Things, Caleb Widogast Needs a Hug, Caleb Widogast is a Mess, Caleb Widogast's Backstory, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, I'll update tags as I go, M/M, Molly &amp; Cad because I said so, Mollymauk Tealeaf Has Feelings, Mollymauk Tealeaf Lives, Other, POV Caleb Widogast, POV Mollymauk Tealeaf, Slow Burn, background Vox Machina, cult survivor Caleb Widogast, everyone's tragic backstories, no beta we die like men, oh that's a good tag lmao, pov will switch each chapter, soulmates is a stretch but they share dreams, they'll be around</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 01:20:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>36,013</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29592699</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/literalfuckinggarbage/pseuds/literalfuckinggarbage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Floor nine of the Sehanine Building at Rexxentrum Academy is where the school houses anyone they don't quite know what to do with. Anyone who marked down anything but "male" or "female" on their surveys, anyone who has a tumultuous past, anyone they might want to keep an eye on. Caleb and Molly start out a tenuous friendship as neighbors on floor nine, neither aware of the colorful dreams the other shares with them each night.</p><p>But it's probably just a coincidence that Caleb dreams of a purple haired, horned creature that looks a lot like Mollymauk. And that Molly dreams of a boy consumed by flames. Right?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Mollymauk Tealeaf/Caleb Widogast</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>128</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>187</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Caleb: Old Beginnings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>A figure, draped in finely embroidered maroon fabric stood facing Bren, no, facing Caleb, halfway across the clearing he’d found himself in.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Will O'The Wisps danced in the air around them, or perhaps they were just peculiarly large fireflies, and there was something strange blooming out of the figure’s chest. He couldn’t say for sure if the figure seemed more masculine or feminine, but they were colored just as purple as the lavender that swayed around them in the moonlit breeze.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>In the sky above, two moons instead of one hung in the sky, one slightly smaller, though both were full and bright. Together they cast the clearing of wild lavender in an ethereal bluish glow, though the breeze was warm. Springlike, though it was well into autumn.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Caleb moved closer, feeling the purple blooms tickle at his bare ankles. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Where were his shoes? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The figure seemed to beacon him closer, though no words were spoken. A lighthouse, safety, a taste of familiarity and warmth in an otherwise confusing dream, though a lingering sense of dread began to build deep in Caleb’s (Bren’s) stomach. Something horrible was about to happen. Had already happened. There was something he couldn’t quite see, something he had to get closer to be able to make out. A protrusion of some kind, coming from the chest.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Unlike the protrusions from the head that appeared to be some kind of horns, this seemed unnatural. Despite the color of the tattoos and the embroidered coat, this was what felt strange and out of place.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He didn’t want to look at it, yet couldn’t look away.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was the tip of some bladed weapon, a polearm it seemed, blooming from the chest like a twisted flower, a gross perversion of a stamen, streaming with bright red blood. As bright and red as the figure’s pupiless eyes.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The figure smiled sadly at him, raising up a hand and rubbing Caleb’s cheek.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It felt real, and he couldn’t help it as he tried to reach up to grab the hand.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The figure’s eyes closed, and dripped two streams, tears of blood.</em>
</p><p>Caleb flew upright in his bed, heart pounding as if he’d just finished a triathlon, and feeling just as sweaty. Groaning, he threw off his covers and slipped into his sweatpants in case Nott was in the hallway when he snuck out to take a shower. No need to traumatize his roommate by walking around in now very sweaty boxers, as unpleasant as it was to put pants on over his now sweat soaked body.</p><p>He’d always had vivid dreams, something he assumed would leave him after childhood, then blamed on the drugs given to him in the cult he’d gotten wrapped up in.</p><p>Now that he’d escaped and most of the people he had called his mentors or friends were behind bars or in metal wards (he wasn’t sure which was worse), the dreams were back full force. Most of the time, they were just weird images of a world more magical than the one he lived in. Occasionally his eidetic memory liked to remind him of the worst night of his life in vivid detail.</p><p>At least this wasn’t that, though it’d left a similar sour feeling throughout his core. Like someone had really died. He stepped into the shower, turning the knob all the way so that the water would pelt away any of the remaining feelings from the dream.</p><p>There were times when he relished in warmth. A warm shower, a hot cup of coffee, fuzzy socks.</p><p>Times when he completely embraced “Caleb,” not Bren, and wrapped himself in a thick scarf and a heavy coat to drown himself in as much warmth as possible.</p><p>Today was not one of those days.</p><p>Today was a day he (Caleb, not Bren, Caleb, Caleb, Caleb- if someone said Bren, he needed to not look up, he needed to <em>run)</em> needed to be cold.</p><p>He stood in the freezing cold water of the shower, shivering and covered in goosebumps while his mind raced. The cold was grounding in a way that heat could never be. </p><p>He was here, he was nowhere near a fire.</p><p>There was no smoke, there was no one in danger.</p><p>His name was Caleb Widogast and everything was fine.</p><p>As fine as it could be.</p><p>Fine enough, even with the letter and a court date sitting inside it on his desk.</p><p>The date was far away. Months. He’d have to talk to the prosecutors a lot leading up to it, but he had an excuse to not let his life be dominated by the trial. He had college. Had to keep his scholarship if he wanted to graduate. A full ride in the honors program at Rexxentrum University, if he kept his grades up and kept out of trouble. He could get out of here after four years, start a new life.</p><p>Maybe he could do what all those therapists had talked about and move on, someday.</p><p>Letting the cold wash over him, grounding him in the reality of what had happened to him, of what he’d done, it didn’t seem likely.</p><p>He’d looked it up and cold didn’t actually make anyone sick either. Not unless you let it get bad enough to give yourself frostbite or hypothermia. It could weaken your immune system, but his was already shot. How much worse could it be?</p><p>Shivers wracked through his body by the time he stepped out and toweled off his now chilled skin.</p><p>There were still hours until he had to go to his first class. The dining hall would be open soon, but he would have to kill time before he went down. This early in the year, he didn’t have any homework that he didn’t finish last night, so he just sat down to read ahead in his history textbook. </p><p>Most of it was material he already knew, but refreshing his eidetic memory and getting the specific phrasings of the textbook ready for his professor’s possible questions could only be good. Looking engaged and dedicated to the material might help him develop a good rapport with the professors. Not that he’d ever struggled with that, but he would just be extra careful this time.</p><p>Of course, not much else could go wrong.</p><p>His life was already as ruined as it could get. There was no further place to go, down at rock bottom where Caleb Widogast had taken up residence.</p><p>He sighed and closed his history textbook an hour before classes started, heading downstairs and across the courtyard to get some food from the cafeteria.</p><p>Caleb still wasn’t used to not being hungry.</p><p>The dining hall took “swipes,” and he got two a day with his scholarship that allowed him to eat all he wanted, buffet style. The first meal he had was so surprising that he ate enough that he ended up not going back to the dining hall for the rest of the day. The food wasn’t the highest quality, but it was warm and filling.</p><p>It was nothing like Ikithon’s home, where food was somehow both a reward and a punishment. Some days were harder than others, to remember that he did in fact need to eat, but some foods were easier than others too. The cafeteria made fresh bread rolls every day that were still warm whenever dinner came around.</p><p>The bread was warm and soft and he would stick his fingers inside to rip it into bite sized pieces. It was satisfying and tactile and he loved it.</p><p>It was hard to believe he deserved it, but easier to ignore those thoughts when he could smell the fresh bread.</p><p>He still felt like someone might walk up and take it away from him, and continued to line his pockets with stolen rolls of bread or pastries wrapped in napkins. Though he’d been assured that so long as he kept his grades up he could stay, he was still waiting for the inevitable moment when everyone realized what a terrible person he was and kicked him out.</p><p>And he couldn’t allow himself to starve out on the streets, at least until Ikithon was behind bars for good. He owed that to the world, if not himself.</p><p>But he didn’t like to think about that. He didn’t like to think much about himself at all.</p><p>He liked to be busy.</p><p>The academic advisor assigned to him kept looking at him like he was crazy as he asked to sign up for a double major in Classics and History, along with taking minors in Latin and Greek. Many of the classes would overlap, he could see, and Caleb knew he would need to keep his mind busy if he wanted to stay sane here.</p><p>Caleb was quite excited about being able to take extra credits with his double major being declared. He signed up for an additional history course for this semester, and made sure the two language classes worked with his schedule. Working through the core classes of English and math would be a bit tedious compared to his chosen fields of study, but he would enjoy them all the same.</p><p>His day went by relatively slowly. He had a job lined up to tutor kids in history, math and English, but it wouldn’t start until students actually needed his help. The likelihood of that happening on the first day was small, but two did come in and ask to set up weekly sessions, expecting to need help with some classes. The first, Caduceus, came in grinning.</p><p>“Oh, a familiar face! That’s nice.” The gaunt gentleman with the startling pink hair and the even more startling height had to duck down to get into the small work room Caleb had reserved in the library until he worked out specific places to study with whoever needed help.</p><p>Caleb offered a smile he hoped was welcoming and not as strained as it felt. He had no desire to make friends here, and seeing someone from his floor wasn’t exciting. Especially since he’d heard a rumor from a particularly loud girl with blue hair from there that they threw all the “weirdos” onto the ninth floor to keep an eye on them. He didn’t want to be friends with weirdos. Or anyone. </p><p>“Hallo, Caduceus, right?” He phrased it as a question, just to be polite. He remembered his name perfectly from all the horrible ice breakers. At least he wasn’t the loudest from their floor. The blue haired one and the purple haired one seemed to be competing for that right.</p><p>“That’s right,” Caduceus nodded with a broad smile, “I’m afraid I don’t remember your name, neighbor.”</p><p>“Caleb,” he said, waving a hand for the tall man to sit in the chair across from him. “Do you wish to set up tutoring sessions?”</p><p>“I do! I’m an intended biology major on the pre-med track, but the math that comes with the science is a little beyond me.” He didn’t quite fit in the chair, ending up lounging across it a bit awkwardly with his long legs.</p><p>Caleb nodded, “I can certainly help with that. What math class are you in?”</p><p>“Oh, just the most basic one they have for this first semester. Gotta start somewhere. It’s a long one, on Wednesdays with Professor Vysoren.” Caduceus took a sip from his oversized travel coffee cup that was almost garish in its bright pink and teal coloration.</p><p>“Right, well,” Caleb paused, pulling out a small pad of paper to write a note on, “how about we meet on Wednesday evenings, right after the class? We can do all your homework while it’s fresh in your mind, and I can explain anything you didn’t understand in class, even if you don’t have homework.”</p><p>A little bit of tension fell from his shoulders that Caleb hadn’t even realized was there. It didn’t seem possible for the man to look more laid back, yet somehow he managed. “That sounds wonderful, thank you,” he said, leaning forward to shake Caleb’s hand again.</p><p>“Ja, it-it’s no trouble,” Caleb said, taken off guard by the easy display of physical touch. He just had to hope Caduceus wasn’t a hugger. “Is three o’clock on Wednesdays okay then?”</p><p>“That’s perfect. Do we meet here, or do you have an office, or…?” Caduceus trailed off, looking around the small room in the library as he took another sip from his large pink tumbler.</p><p>Caleb chewed his lip for a moment. “Let me double check something. What classroom is your math class in?”</p><p>“512, in the Sarenrae building,” Caduceus said after looking at the background of his phone, which was currently all of his class locations and times. Caleb could only hope he would remember to come to their tutoring sessions.</p><p>He looked up that room’s availability and found that it would be empty from 2:30-on Wednesday afternoons. “We can meet right in the class. That should help your recall when you’re in class, and when you’re taking tests.”</p><p>“You already sound like an amazing tutor, Mr. Caleb,” Caduceus said, shaking his hand once more as he left. “I’m looking forward to it.”</p><p>“Myself as well,” Caleb said, offering another small smile under the pressure of Caduceus’s wide, easy grin. “I’ll see you then.”</p><p>“Right, I’ll see you around, Mr. Caleb,” Caduceus said, ducking under the door and almost bumping into a second, somehow even larger man. Only by an inch or so, but Caleb was shocked that his shaved head didn’t scrape the ceiling. Maybe he couldn’t wear hats. Or maybe it was just because Caleb was shrinking down into his seat as they spoke. “Oh, excuse me, folks,” Caduceus ducked around them too, waving once more to Caleb even though he could barely see past the monster of a man now in front of him.</p><p>A monster of a man who looked incredibly sheepish.</p><p>“Hallo?” Caleb said, trying not to be intimidated. Somehow, the new man looked as intimidated as he felt.</p><p>“Widogast?” a small, feminine voice piped up from behind the tall man.</p><p>Caleb frowned, and craned his neck, trying to see who had spoken. “Um, ja?”</p><p>“Grog, move your fat arse a minute-” A dark haired woman with a long braid and smart clothing pushed past this “Grog” to sit across from Caleb, then beamed a blinding smile at him. She looked like she was on her way to an internship, or ready to sell him a car, not about to set up a tutoring session. “Hello, dear, I’m Vex'ahlia, and this is Grog.”</p><p>“Hallo,” he said again, more definitively this time, though he still had no idea what was going on. “I’m Caleb Widogast, but it seems you already knew that.”</p><p>“Grog needs a tutor, mostly for English,” Vex'ahlia explained. “He-”</p><p>“I have academic accommodations,” Grog said slowly, trying not to stumble on the word. “But I still need to have good grades to keep my football scholarship.”</p><p>Caleb nodded, “Would you rather focus on reading or on writing? I can help you edit anything you need to submit, or we can read the same materials and I can help you analyze and close read.”</p><p>“Both,” Vex'ahlia said.</p><p>At the same time Grog said, “But why can’t Pike-”</p><p>“She’s starting her internship at the hospital this semester, Grog, and we’re not letting you fail a class again just because you’re worried she’s too busy and you can’t find Percy.” Vex’ahlia shot Caleb another blinding smile as if this wasn’t a ridiculous display to be having in public. “Now, be nice to Mr. Widogast,” she said, still smiling but with a sharpness to it.</p><p>Caleb was rather glad she didn’t need tutoring. She was a bit terrifying. He just swallowed, looking at the pouting man. “Why don’t we meet twice a week then? After your literature class and your composition class?”</p><p>Grog begrudgingly agreed, planning out where they would meet to discuss everything. Caleb arranged for them to meet in unoccupied classrooms like he had with Caduceus, since Grog seemed actively uncomfortable just being in the library. Vex’ahlia explained that he would have extra time to complete assignments, but still needed the help of a tutor.</p><p>The huge man left still grumbling about wanting to just keep studying with a “Pike” that Caleb didn’t know.</p><p>He sighed softly, adding both weekly meetings and locations into his online calendar, more out of habit than anything. It wasn’t like he ever forgot anything like that. Or anything at all, for that matter. But he liked the color coordinated calendar from the school’s email that showed when he was busy whenever people tried to make appointments with him.</p><p>It was nice to see that he’d filled his days to the brim. He didn’t have time to think about his past, or the upcoming trial, or how on earth he expected to survive on his own here with a single weekly visit to the guidance counselor.</p><p>There’d be time to deal with all that later. Someday. Probably.</p><p>But for now, he had to go catch dinner before the dining hall closed.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thank you for reading!! comments make my day &lt;3 </p><p>this story will update every saturday!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Molly: A Second Dreamer</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Introducing: Mollymauk Tealeaf! Disaster Extraordinaire, Grade A Piece of Bullshit, and all around Decent Person, Probably</p><p>(also Yasha and Jester, because Molly needs loving supportive girls in his life)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Mollymauk was traveling through fields of farmland, not interested in the surroundings as much as he was the feeling of fresh grass between his toes, more real than it normally felt.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Then he saw smoke.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Rising over the fields of wheat and corn, a plume of smoke curled, angry and gray into the sky. Molly felt drawn to it, slipping easily through the tall grasses and finding a small farmhouse caught in a blazing inferno.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But there was a figure at the door, crying out and trying to move something blocking the entrance. There was no life inside, if there ever had been, and Molly ran to stop the strange figure from hurting themselves.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hair almost as bright red as the flames swirled around the figure like a halo, but dark red blood was spreading over his fingers as he scratched at a strange wooden cart blocking the front door. Molly surged forward to catch his hands, cradling them to his chest. Under the blood he could feel callouses on the slender fingers.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The figure whipped his head back and forth frantically, trying to express to Molly that he needed to continue, but didn’t pull away, didn’t say anything.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Fire burned in his eye sockets, instead of any real visible eyes.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Molly leaned forward and kissed his forehead, watching as the figure closed his eyes and began to cry.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>When they opened again, they were the brightest blue he’d ever seen, crystal clear, like staring into an untouched lake. The lake seemed to spill over as the tears continued. Once again, the man didn’t pull away, didn’t stop him from holding his hands, but this time he spoke.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Can’t you hear them screaming?”</em>
</p><p>Molly shot out of bed and straight onto the floor, tangled in his sheets and developing what was sure to be a bruise on his left ass cheek. </p><p>“You good?” a soft voice asked from the other bed.</p><p>Rubbing his eyes and remaining sprawled on his bright carpet, Molly nodded. He knew he shouldn’t have raised his bed high up enough to fit his dresser beneath it, but what was done was done.  “All good. Weirdass dream. Did I wake you?”</p><p>“Only a little. I have to get up in five minutes for practice anyways.” Yasha shuffled around in her sheets, grabbing her phone off her desk.</p><p>He scrunched up his nose. “Gross. I’m going back to bed. I’m gonna switch all my classes around to afternoon ones.”</p><p>“You can do that?” she asked, blinking owlishly from her blanket nest. Molly was a bit envious of the setup, honestly. She’d obviously come from somewhere cold and brought every soft fuzzy blanket in the universe. There was even a fur coat in her closet, he was pretty sure.</p><p>“Mhmm. Add/drop period is there for a reason. And the reason is to let me stay up late.” Molly hauled himself up off the floor, brushing off his night shorts.</p><p>Yasha sat up as Molly plopped back down in his bed. She said, “I have to get up early to train anyway.”</p><p>“Like I said, gross,” he said over a yawn. “You’re a champ. I’m sure you’ll win all the… games? Matches? Whatever.”</p><p>She chuckled softly, stretching and cracking her joints as she bent to touch her toes in her bed. “Thank you, Molly.”</p><p>“You’re more than welcome,” Molly said, cracking his back before curling back up in his pile of blankets and pillows. </p><p>He liked his roommate enormously. And it wasn’t just because occasionally he caught her looking at him like he was the sun in the sky. Wherever she’d come from didn’t seem to have any color, and he certainly was a riot of it.</p><p>At first he’d tried to apologize for all the bright tapestries and embroidered curtains he’d bought, once he saw her monochromatic aesthetic that so clearly clashed with his own, but she kept insisting it was fine. By the end of move in day she asked if maybe he could help her print out some photos to help decorate her side. She revealed breathtaking shots of flowers that he honestly couldn’t believe she’d taken on her phone.</p><p>They were all in a big album on her phone labelled “Zuala,” but he wasn’t about to ask, not yet. He already liked her endlessly, but he wasn’t ready to talk with her about his past, and she probably wasn’t either. He could declare them friends for life and look forward to the future instead.</p><p>They’d taken a trip their first night to a stationery store and gotten hundreds of printouts, which he insisted on paying half for, even though it dipped significantly into the savings account Gustav and Desmond had set him up with. She had gotten so cute and flustered when he did, and he made sure she knew that they would be decorations he got to enjoy too. It was definitely worth it.</p><p>And he did enjoy them. His room was a little haven of color with only new memories.</p><p>And he also enjoyed the look on her face as he managed to find flowers to bring into their little dormitory space. He never outright gave them to her, but he liked to see Yasha’s face light up when she saw the little bouquets filling up the windowsill in crummy water bottles with their labels ripped off. Maybe for her birthday he’d get her some vases so he could steal them properly.</p><p>Not that you could really steal flowers, but he supposed taking them out of little cultivated spots in yards and around buildings in the city wasn’t technically allowed either. Just one here and there wasn’t hurting anyone though, and he liked to see her smile.</p><p>He was a heavy sleeper, falling back asleep easily to the quiet sounds of Yasha packing up her gym bag and shushing someone who knocked on their door, whispering about practice with someone presumably also on the field hockey team. Normally, Molly had rather wild dreams, but after the vivid one from this morning, he sank into a deep, dreamless sleep. Or at least the only dream he could remember when he woke up was the one with the burning boy, though his face had become muddled in the waking world.</p><p>Molly didn’t really like his vivid dreams. Usually he tried to forget them as soon as he woke up. They frightened him, if he was being completely honest, which he rarely was.</p><p>He couldn’t be sure that they weren’t some sort of memories, and that terrified him.</p><p>After his car accident, he remembered nothing of his previous life, and he wasn’t expecting to get any of those memories back. He felt like a different person from whoever “Lucien” might have been, and he always felt a strange disconnect hearing about people who knew him before.</p><p>It was part of the reason he traveled across the country to come to Rexxentrum University. As much as he would have loved to stay with Gustav and Desmond, he needed to be around people who only knew Mollymauk.</p><p>Who only knew him.</p><p>After too much time time looking at Phineas Gage's Wikipedia page and other medical journals he didn't fully understand, he couldn’t handle wondering if the accident had really changed his brain so that he was a different person, or if the reason Lucien was such an asshole was because he’d had a shitty life where he couldn’t express himself. It didn’t seem like a good excuse, with how amazing Gustav and Desmond were as foster parents. After the accident and his… mood shift, they’d adopted him within a few months. Lucien had papers on how to get legally emancipated, even though he was almost 18 already, and Gustav and Desmond were saints. No one seemed to know anything about him being genderfluid, or even vaguely androgynous, or about him being queer.</p><p>And the fact that Molly had to cover up all those stupid eye tattoos…</p><p>Not that he didn’t love his tattoos. But he might have been a little slower in amassing such a collection. A little more intentional about his choices, if he’d been given the chance to think about it. But he didn’t want to cover them up with the boring clothes Lucien had in his closet, and he definitely didn’t want to proudly display whatever gang or cult crap it meant.</p><p>With his longer, purple hair, tattoos, piercings, and the tan he got while working as a lifeguard over the summer (after all his tattoos healed, and with painstaking amounts of sunscreen to protect it all), Mollymauk barely got recognized around his hometown. Not that he was born there, physically, but he might as well have been. He wasn’t going to look into Lucien’s past because he didn’t give a shit. But there were still old friends of Lucien that wanted to talk, that he had to block the numbers of, that he wanted to be miles away from at all times.</p><p>So he’d used Lucien’s full ride scholarship to leave home for good, even though he couldn’t remember how he’d gotten it, or half the things that had gotten him into the school. Gustav and Desmond had spent hours on the phone for him, making sure that he would have all the right kinds of support. They went through hell getting his new name in the system, new pictures, and everything they could think of to make him more comfortable. He’d deal with the guidance counselors, and the check up emails, and the RA breathing down his neck, and whatever else they could throw at him, just to be away from it all.</p><p>Well. The RA was actually really nice. And he rather liked the short girl, Pike was her name he was pretty sure, but he still didn’t want to feel babysat.</p><p>At least she was getting busier with the semester picking up. She was a pre-med junior, and she’d scored an internship pushing papers at the hospital, so her schedule was packed.</p><p>Meanwhile, he only had one class today, since he was switching all of them around, so he was the opposite of busy, and that was just fine by him. He spent a few hours on his dorm room floor, eating some leftover food from his last shift at Gilmore’s Glorious Goods, the restaurant he was able to get a job at down the street.</p><p>Gilmore and his parents were old friends of Gustav and Desmond, so he was able to get a decent job as a busboy. Food was free while he was on shift, and every once in a while Taryon would get overwhelmed and give him a table. He was good at getting tips, even if he messed up orders sometimes, and Gilmore said he was a natural. When he was settled, he'd probably get trained properly, but he'd already replaced most of the money he spent on Yasha.</p><p>Once he finished all the leftovers in the mini fridge, Molly decided he needed human interaction and left to see if there was anyone in the lounge.</p><p>His memory was shit, but he did remember Jester. It was the one name, besides Yasha, that he forced himself to learn during orientation.</p><p>Molly already loved her. She seemed a little naïve, but he didn't mind that. She was genuine and sweet and that was what he needed in new friends. At least, that’s what he thought he needed.</p><p>And he totally wasn’t biased by the fact that her hair was dyed blue like his was purple. And she had a similar amount of piercings. And ridiculous, cute, colorful style he would definitely be taking notes on. And an accent, like he sometimes found himself slipping into. Not the same accent of course, and when he re-learned to speak he lost a lot of it in favor of Gustav’s, Desmond’s, and his speech therapist, but it was still under the surface sometimes. A reminder that he wasn’t entirely himself.</p><p>But Jester was a reminder that he could be as ostentatious and wild as he wanted and no one important would judge him for it.</p><p>So clearly, they were going to be friends.</p><p>Especially since she seemed rather desperate for friends herself. He’d noticed there was a general air of that around the freshmen on campus, but she was trying just a bit too hard.</p><p>“Molly! Do you want a cupcake?!” she asked, eyes lit up with excitement just at his entrance.</p><p>“I’d love one. How about a reading in exchange?” he smiled, sprawling across the couch beside her and trying to get comfortable on the stiff vinyl. </p><p>Jester presented him with a box of cupcakes that probably cost more than his history textbook (which was highway robbery at its finest; he just found a pdf after a few hours of scouring the internet). “Take two! The activated charcoal ones are really good!”</p><p>“Ah, I think that messes with medication,” he said, grabbing what looked like lemon instead.</p><p>Her eyes went wide. “Wait, seriously? I thought it was good for you,” she said, looking a little deflated.</p><p>“I think it cures like, poison, but it can also make meds less effective. Not that I’m on the birth control pill or anything serious, but I need my meds to stay focused for class today.” He wondered if he actually sounded like he knew what he was talking about when his mouth was full of lemon frosting.</p><p>She whipped out her phone, scrolling through WebMD and nodding like he was a wise sage, not an 18 year old kid who just took too large of a bite of a cupcake.</p><p>But he did feel kind of bad. She’d been so earnest before.</p><p>“Did you want that reading?”</p><p>She cocked her head, curious but unsure what he meant until he flashed the deck of tarot cards from his pack and began to shuffle them. His brain wasn’t quite all there sometimes, and he forgot a lot of stuff, but he could always trust his fingers. After managing a few dramatic flourishes that he’d picked up after the physical therapist declared him “back to normal” (What was normal? He had no frame of reference. He became better than normal.) he laid the cards out on the table. “Tarot, dear. We can do complicated or simple for you.”</p><p>“Hmmm,” her eyes poured over the cards, “maybe simple at first. I’ve never done this before.”</p><p>“Well, you’ll never get another reading quite like it. These are my own cards,” he grinned.</p><p>Jester clapped, “You’re an artist too?”</p><p>“Sort of, but I made these at the very least,” he said, scooping them up and shuffling them once more before presenting her with the top card to take. A lot of people didn’t let others touch their cards, but Molly was a tactile person and he thought he was just as full of shit as the next person. What did it matter if she touched the card he planted on top?</p><p>“What’s Silver Dragon mean?” she asked, smiling wide at the card.</p><p>Molly began to do what he did best, and started spinning his bullshit. “The Silver Dragon. This is good. You’re pure, you’re virtue, you are a worthwhile and wonderful human being, obviously, or creature of some repute.”</p><p>Jester nodded seriously, “That’s what everyone always tells me.”</p><p>“It’s true. And heading towards the Anvil. That is a destiny forged. There’s something bright and adventurous in your future.” He flipped over the next card for her, showing the small painting of the anvil.</p><p>She leaned forward, completely enthralled and nodding eagerly, “Will you ask the cards if I’m going to find him?”</p><p>“Find him?” he asked, suddenly a bit more concerned. He wanted to be friends with this girl, not mess with her that much. “Give me a little bit more. Who’s this 'him’ that you’re looking for?” Anyone who was that ready to believe they were destined for greatness probably was looking for someone important.</p><p>“I’m looking for my dad,” she said, just as earnest, but a little quieter.</p><p>Well, fuck.</p><p>He shuffled again, nodding and pondering the question for a moment. What was he supposed to say? What if her father left long ago and didn’t give a shit? What if he was dead? He had to say something that meant nothing.</p><p>Eventually, Molly pulled out the Eye card. “You’ve already found the clue you’re looking for. You just don’t know what it is yet."</p><p>“Really?” she asked, too eager, too sincere.</p><p>“Apparently. Well, that’s what the cards are saying. It’s right in front of you,” he said. There probably <em>was</em> something she was too kind to see, underneath everything. Jester seemed the type. </p><p>“Wow,” she breathed, leaning back against the couch and pulling off the wrapper of a cupcake. “Does it say how long ago I found it? Because that’s–”</p><p>He cut that off right away, “Sadly, I don’t have that sort of specifics. That’s much more expensive.”</p><p>“That’s going to take a <em>lot</em> of thinking,” she said, mouth now full of cake as she sketched out the cards he’d pulled into a small blank journal.</p><p>“Well, I hope you find what you’re looking for. I’ve gotta head to class,” he said, shucking his bag back over his shoulder and tucking the cards safely away in the pocket. No more messing with kind people. Hopefully he’d given her hope and a direction, instead of the other way around.</p><p>“Thank you, Molly!” she called after him, waving enthusiastically.</p><p>“See you around, Jester!” he said, trying to swallow the small seed of guilt. Oh well. It was already done. No sense in dwelling on the past, especially when he had to meet with the guidance counselor before class. That would be more than enough dwelling on pasts that he didn’t care about for the day.</p><p>Time for all that shit later.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thank you for reading!! kudos &amp; comments make my day &lt;3</p><p>this story will update every saturday!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Caleb: Secrets</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Caleb has secrets. Mostly bad, but there's one good one.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>The horned dream figure appeared like the night before, eyes still bright red, but no longer bleeding.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>They were dripping with exuberance, with life, with color. Caleb felt drab just standing in their presence.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The world around them was fuzzy and unsure, as things often were in dreams, like the only two people to exist in the world were Caleb and this figure. Smiling broadly at him, they beaconed closer. Caleb was helpless but to oblige.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Slowly, and with great flourish, the figure picked a card from a deck of intricate, hand painted tarot cards spread in the air before them. They floated in suspended animation as the nimble purple fingers drifted over their gilded edges and made their selection.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Number eighteen, the Moon.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Illusion, fear, anxiety, subconscious, intuition,” they whispered, flipping the card around in their fingers until it showed a different image.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Number one, the Magician.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Manifestation, resourcefulness, inspired action, power,” the figure whispered, turning the card around twice until Caleb was staring into a mirror.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>His hair was flame, flickering light around his head like a halo.</em>
</p><p>Caleb’s breath caught in his throat at the sight and he was effectively awake. The sunlight barely illuminating his room told him it was early. Far too early.</p><p>Looking around his sparsely decorated room, he took in the small space that was his and his alone to calm down from his nightmare.</p><p>Five things he could see. His pillow, the ceiling with a small vent, his backpack, his desk,  and a small bowl of water and an empty bowl of food tucked in the open door of the closet. </p><p>Four things he could feel. The texture of his comforter, then the sheet, then the smooth of the wall, and the warm wood of his bed frame.</p><p>Three things he could hear. The soft sound of Nott snoring in the bedroom nearby, traffic below his window, and a quiet rumbling near his head.</p><p>Two things he could smell. He carefully picked out the smell of his laundry detergent in his pillow, and the scent of his cheap shampoo purchased at the local dollar store.</p><p>One thing he could taste. He sat up and popped a peppermint on his tongue from the tin near the bedside table.</p><p>He was okay. There was no fire. No one was on fire, himself or otherwise.</p><p>He was alone. Well, mostly.</p><p>No one was allowed in Caleb’s room.</p><p>Not Nott. Or Beauregard. Or Jester. Or anyone Nott brought back to the apartment. Or anyone else who asked to see his room. And there was a very important reason for that.</p><p>If residential services found out his secret, he probably would get kicked out of on-campus housing. He wouldn’t be able to afford to live in Rexxentrum, not anywhere close enough to campus, even with his tutoring job. He definitely couldn’t afford transportation to and from school, if he needed to move out.</p><p>So his door stayed locked, and when he was inside, he pushed a chair up against the handle too. Though that was a fire hazard, he knew there were functioning sprinklers in every room on campus, something he’d researched extensively. That, and Nott could pick locks, which he was well aware of, since she’d lost the key to her bedroom already and picked it open every time she forgot and locked it on accident.</p><p>He trusted her enough to share a space with her, but he still didn’t want to take any chances.</p><p>Not when it came to Frumpkin.</p><p>Caleb had plenty of secrets. Secrets that would hurt him, secrets that would make everyone he knew sick to the sight of him, secrets that caused him pain even to remember.</p><p>But Frumpkin was his only good secret.</p><p>He slipped his feet inside slippers and immediately picked up the little furball that was currently purring on his pillow. Out of all the grounding exercises the therapists had taught him, Frumpkin was his favorite.</p><p>“Hallo, Schatz,” he murmured into tufts of immaculately groomed orange fur. Just about all of the money he got from tutoring went to caring for his cat. Knowing that something relied on him, and would be sad if he was gone was enough to get him through his most difficult days.</p><p>The stray had glommed onto him the day after he escaped from Ikithon’s and found himself wandering around Rexxentrum. Together they had found a dumpster behind some sort of restaurant. It was full of leftover food that Frumpkin couldn’t get to without thumbs. They formed a symbiotic relationship, him feeding the cat and Frumpkin purring like a motorboat so he could calm down in the small alley.</p><p>It turned out that it was also downstairs from Dairon’s apartment.</p><p>Dairon who for some godforsaken reason recognized him from the program at Soltryce.</p><p>And had dragged him to the hospital.</p><p>And then the police station.</p><p>He liked them well enough, now, but when he’d first met them he rather thought they were the devil, come to drag him back into society by force. And he was sort of right, but he also needed it desperately.</p><p>How he’d found himself hiding in the alleyway behind the detective building a case against Ikithon made him actually wonder if there was any kind of fate in the world. Of course that was a dangerous path to go down, with what he’d done. There was no escaping the evil in his life.</p><p>There was just the hope of stopping Ikithon from doing any more harm. Even now, guilt roiled in his gut at the thought of incoming freshmen entering the Solstyce Preparatory Academy with no idea who Trent Ikithon really was.</p><p>He had to keep living his life to try and be the most prepared he could to take down Ikithon.</p><p>So he placed Frumpkin back down and opened the blinds so the cat could bask in the sun. It’d been a few hours since he started petting the orange lump, and the two of them had almost fallen into a trance. Well, Caleb had. Frumpkin was mostly just asleep. He filled up Frumpkin’s special flat dish that wouldn’t irritate his whiskers, refilled the water bowl from a fresh water bottle, and got ready for class. </p><p>“Be good,” he mumbled, kissing his fuzzy orange head and heading off to his Latin lecture. He didn’t have to say so; it wasn’t like Frumpkin actually understood him. Or had a bad bone in his body. It seemed he was so happy to be off the street and out of the cold that all he wanted was to sit on Caleb’s window sill and play with the few catnip toys he had.</p><p>Maybe after school he would buy him.</p><p>Caleb slipped out the door and locked it. Nott stopped him on his way out of the dorm, still lounging across the couch. </p><p>“Hey, did you eat anything yet today?” she asked. It was midday already.</p><p>Caleb faltered and wondered if the peppermint counted. Probably not. He’d gotten distracted petting Frumpkin and wouldn’t have time to make it to the dining hall. Not if he wanted to get to his Latin class early and ensure he got his preferred seat. “Not yet.”</p><p>“Here’s one of Caduceus’s muffins. He was handing them out in the lounge.” she said, tossing him the thing like a softball. But Caleb was the farthest thing from a catcher in the world.</p><p>Luckily Nott knew that and aimed perfectly to lob it inside his still open backpack. He looked down at it, a strange lump that appeared to be hand wrapped in a homemade beeswax wrap. “You did not have to bring me one.”</p><p>“We both wanted you to have it,” she shrugged. “You’re too skinny. It’s like you never eat.”</p><p>He winced a bit at that, trying not to feel self conscious. Perhaps he would set some alarms on his phone to remind himself to eat. For someone with his memory, you’d think it’d be easier to remember to take care of himself.</p><p>“Danke. I will see you later.”</p><p>“Have fun in class,” she said, throwing another muffin up in the air and catching it gracefully.</p><p>Caleb sat near the front of the class, unpacking his notebook and textbook on his desk, barely noticing the person sitting down next to him. It was quite early, and they were rather quiet, unlike many of the other members of this class.</p><p>He heard some people talking to whoever had taken the seat beside him but paid them no mind, slowly picking apart Caduceus’s muffin. Even though he’d only known the tall man for about two weeks, he’d already learned that he loved to bake in the floor nine kitchen.</p><p>There was a tin of cookies in his room, as an unneeded thank you from Caducues’s first tutoring session. They were some kind of lemon shortbread that tasted like his mother’s, and his Großmutters. He was rationing them carefully, especially since each one almost made him cry.</p><p>The muffin luckily wasn't anything like anyone in his family made, and had enough nuts in it (all carefully labeled, along with any other allergens, in sharpie on the beeswax wrap), to keep him going until he remembered to eat again. Before the professor started the lecture, he set up a few alarms on his phone to remind him to grab food at least twice a day.</p><p>“You’re the freshman transfer, right?”</p><p>He blinked, looking up from his phone. He was surprised to see a boy with bright white hair and glasses thick enough to make him look much older than he was. “I am,” he said, a little confused at the sudden introduction. “I placed out of the Latin I class.”</p><p>“And I think you tutor our friend Grog,” he said, holding his hand up to indicate the height of Caleb’s latest student.</p><p>Caleb nodded, “I will be. We have our first tutoring session later this afternoon.”</p><p>The strange boy smiled and stuck out a hand, “It’s good to officially meet you. Percival Fredrickstein von Musel Klossowski de Rolo the thir-”</p><p>“Oh, fuck off, Percy, don’t scare him away before he’s even said two words,” another boy said, leaning forward so Caleb could see him from two desks down. “I’m Vax, that’s Percy, and this is Keyleth. Percy’s trying to invite you to study group, if he could get the stick out of his ass.”</p><p>“I was getting to that, you insufferable-”</p><p>“We’re actually really nice when we get to know us,” the redheaded girl, Keyleth apparently, in the middle said, leaning forward to block Vax from view and offering an apologetic smile.</p><p>Vax rolled his eyes, not acknowledging the white haired boy’s grievances against him. Percy sighed and gave up, mumbling mostly to Caleb, “I mostly would like someone to talk to in this class who isn’t only here for an antiquated religion major requirement or busy flirting.”</p><p>Though his words were quiet, it seemed Keyleth heard him, blushing softly and shooting him a look.</p><p>“But we do study together, for tests and things, in our apartment. I noticed you’re in my  Greek class too, so it would be advantageous for us to know each other. Saves the trouble of befriending someone from each class.”</p><p>Caleb nodded. He could appreciate that. And he didn’t know anyone in his language classes thus far. Beauregard, from his floor and his orientation group, had decided to sit next to him in his first history class. If that was any indication of how relationships would progress in this school, the less of them the better. </p><p>“Would you like my email, then?” he asked, trying not to fidget under all the new attention.</p><p>But Percy just slid his notebook across the table for him to write the address down as the professor began the lesson, saving him from more interaction. He wrote out the address in his loopy script, passing his own notebook over as Percy held out his hand expectantly.</p><p>Caleb passed over his own notebook and took it back to see the careful boxy handwriting.</p><p>
  <em>Percival Fredrickstein von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III</em>
</p><p>
  <em><br/>
</em>
</p><p>
  <em>prolo@rexxentrumu.edu</em>
</p><p>He was surprised to find the boy had also written his phone number. The simple flip phone Dairon had given him as part of being in the witness program was difficult to text on, but it would be a good option. This boy would be the fourth contact, after Dairon, Nott, and the security guards on campus.</p><p>He remembered the white haired boy a bit from last class. Between Percy and himself, they were the only ones to raise their hands the entire time. It would make some kind of sense to befriend each other, at least to make sure any notes taken on missed days would be up to their standards. Caleb wasn’t one to voice his judgements out loud, but he did doubt that Vax took detailed notes.</p><p>Especially since he hadn’t written a word the whole lesson, and was just carefully braiding his long black hair over his shoulder while Keyleth, Percy, and Caleb meticulously took down every word the professor said.</p><p>It still wasn’t as bad as his history class with Beauregard, the other history major from his floor. She was loud and abrasive, and seemed to have taken an instant dislike of him, despite sitting right beside him in the front of the class near the door. If there were enough history courses, he might have switched out, but the offerings were limited for the beginning lectures. He needed to work on his major to be able to graduate on time with his double major. Which meant he needed to take the two introductory courses this semester, since he couldn’t speed through two language courses at a time.</p><p>His next history class with Beau was tomorrow, so he had time to prepare for it. </p><p>After the Latin lecture he went to the library to finish up his Latin homework before he had to meet Grog back in the classrooms. There was no point in going all the way back to his room, especially since he would probably not get as much done with Frumpkin demanding attention.</p><p>The tutoring session went quickly, with Caleb and Grog both reading the same text, which happened to be some awful Hemingway novel that Caleb had read in the span of two days once he learned Grog would need assistance with it. He’d emailed Grog a quick test to figure out what kind of learner he was the night before and found the man was almost entirely a kinesthetic learner. So they read the story aloud, taking turns with the dialogue and acting everything out. Caleb explained almost every paragraph in more colloquial terms and made sure that Grog had chapter summaries written for class so he could remember what they talked about.</p><p>By the end of the hour, Grog had finished his reading questions and could summarize the five chapters they’d read. If he read what he’d written at the beginning of the next class, he would probably even pass a pop quiz.</p><p>Then Caleb stopped by the dining hall and ate alone at a small table in the back. No one bothered him and he was able to read a few chapters of the latest book he’d checked out of the library, a strange book called <em>Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore.</em></p><p>Full of some kind of soup and fresh bread, with a danish wrapped in napkins in his backpack, Caleb made his way back to his dorm and prepared for bed. He fed Frumpkin and took a long shower. Tonight he allowed himself some warmth, curling up under the blankets with his purring fuzzball and taking some time to read. Once he’d made it almost halfway through the book, he placed an old receipt inside as a bookmark and turned out the light.</p><p>It was 11:00 pm, a perfectly reasonable time to go to sleep for someone planning to wake up the next day at 7:00 am.</p><p>And then it was midnight.</p><p>And then it was one in the morning.</p><p>Caleb’s arms itched.</p><p>The warmth had become overbearing and he suddenly needed to be away from this small room. He slipped on his sneakers with no socks and threw on a thin hoodie and some sweatpants.</p><p>From the ninth floor, he was able to get roof access, which had a small patio and sitting area. This late at night there was no one smoking, and it was blissfully quiet. Caleb moved up against the railing, which had enough of a gap for him to sit and swing his legs underneath, leaning up against one of the bars with his arm. If someone was determined, they could probably slip through.</p><p>From here he could see the entire neighborhood. It was peaceful and relaxing, and most importantly, cold enough to ground him in the moment. The cool fall breeze was getting even colder as the season drew on, and he could breathe again. Caleb relaxed enough that he didn’t hear the door opening behind him to warn him of the person approaching.</p><p>He did feel the hand on his shoulder, and heard a soft lilting voice ask, “Not thinking of doing anything rash, right, friend?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>comments &amp; kudos directly shoot serotonin into my brain &lt;3</p><p>this story updates every saturday!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Molly: Jumpers</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It's a lot easier to talk to someone when there are no stakes and it's like 2am</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Molly heard about college, and how you got to build your schedule, he was excited. The idea of being able to put all his classes in the afternoon and sleep in was extremely welcome. He took full advantage of the add/drop period and made sure he would never have to be anywhere before one o’clock in the afternoon.</p>
<p>And it worked well, for the most part.</p>
<p>He could get up around noon and put together perfect outfits, all while avoiding the worst of the morning sun. Migraines and headaches still plagued him after the accident, but he managed them as well as he could. It helped that the silly red tinted glasses he’d bought because they looked cool legitimately helped block out some of the light that bothered him. </p>
<p>But it didn't actually help his sleep schedule.</p>
<p>It was about two in the morning and he hadn't been able to sleep yet. He felt like he needed to pace or scream or smoke but all of those would wake Yasha, sleeping soundly across the room. She hadn't told him much about her past, just that she was emancipated from her foster family and on her own, but he'd guessed it wasn't the best situation given to how she woke up with a start at any small noise.</p>
<p>She got up at the crack of fucking dawn every morning to train at the gym and then head to her field hockey practices. So there was a period of time each night that he had to be near silent. Most of the time he could just watch Netflix in bed with headphones and be fine, but tonight he was buzzing with nervous energy.</p>
<p>Molly hated to bother her, but he felt like if he didn’t do <em>something</em> right now he might explode. So as quietly as he could, he grabbed his room key, a pair of boots, and his warm jean jacket covered in patches. He might have gone for the pretty red one, but there was little need to suffer for fashion when no one would see him.</p>
<p>It was extremely unlikely to see anyone on the roof this late at night.</p>
<p>He came up here every once in a while when he couldn’t sleep, though that had been happening more often as his classes went on and he got more and more stressed. Once he got back to a school setting that was interesting and challenging he hoped some of Lucien’s memories would come back and he could tap into that secret genius stuff that helped with things like doing a backflip or a handstand. Unfortunately he could do a cartwheel alongside the best of them, but math and reading hadn’t come so easily.</p>
<p> Somehow he would make it through, to stay in this place. Molly was already in love with Rexxentrum and never wanted to leave. The thrum of life that permeated every part of the city made him feel alive and nourished in a way that his small town back across the country never could.</p>
<p>He took a deep breath of cold night air as he stepped onto the roof and took in his surroundings.</p>
<p>The cars below had slowed down, just a few cabs and buses moving around this late.</p>
<p>The sounds of construction and honking had all disappeared, leaving a quiet hum that just rested over the city, indistinguishable as different sounds, but a sound all the same.</p>
<p>So Molly almost missed the boy sitting on the roof.</p>
<p>Mollymauk wasn’t a very strong individual, at least physically. He was quicker than most, but that usually got him into trouble more than out of it.</p>
<p>That didn’t stop him from getting very very close to the boy sitting near the edge of the roof and clamping a hand down on his shoulder. “Not thinking of doing anything rash, right, friend?”</p>
<p>Bright blue eyes whipped around to look at him. “Was?”</p>
<p>“Vass?” Molly attempted to repeat the strangely accented word, suddenly lost in those eyes. There was something strange about them, more familiar than the rest of him. He didn’t understand. He knew this kid, but hadn’t looked too carefully at his eyes before. Not that he could remember.</p>
<p>The kid lived on the same floor as him, but he hadn’t seen him much. They must have had different schedules. He was cute, if Molly remembered correctly. Red hair and lots of comfy sweaters and things. Tonight he was wearing a sweatshirt, sweatpants, and sneakers. It looked like pajamas, so Molly didn’t really feel all that out of place. </p>
<p>But Molly remembered him from something else than living on the same floor. This kid had been in his orientation group, and when he heard they had roof access he had whispered to a short girl with messy dark hair beside him, “Tall buildings are odd. You get up in them and look over the edge and… and you have that urge.”</p>
<p>But now he just blinked, too familiar, and frowned at him. “What are you talking about? And why did you call me friend?”</p>
<p>“We live on the same floor; we’re basically all friends,” Molly said, ignoring how the boy scoffed at him. He was trying to remember his name, trying to picture the name tag he must have been wearing during the orientation tour. His memory was shit, as always. “And I’m just making sure you’re okay, since the only thing I’ve ever heard you say about this roof was basically suicidal ideation.”</p>
<p>The fight left the boys shoulders, but Molly could see he’d said the wrong thing when twelve different walls raised up to take its place. “Ah. Ja.”</p>
<p>He turned away, kicking his legs over the edge in a way that didn’t scream “I’m fine,” even when his mouth formed the same words. “I am not suicidal, the guidance counselors all know my name, and you’re absolved of all responsibilities. Continue on with your smoke, or whatever it is you’re doing.”</p>
<p>“Suicidal ideation and suicide are different,” Molly said, but did fish out his pack of cigarettes. He couldn’t sleep and Lucien had enough nasty habits for a few to roll over. He’d tried quitting, but they did help him calm down on occasion. That and they’d go stale if he didn’t smoke them soon.</p>
<p>It didn’t help that he was more stressed than he’d ever been, despite only being about a year old.</p>
<p>The boy sighed deeply, leaning back on the palms of his hands and looking up at the three or four stars visible in the light polluted sky of Rexxentrum. </p>
<p>He said, “I’m very aware of the sliding scale between suicidal and suicidal ideation, and I’m resting comfortably on the side that allows me to exist without constant supervision or strangers asking about my problems.”</p>
<p>Knocking the cigarette out into his palm with a practiced motion, a muscle memory he didn’t remember acquiring, Molly said, “To be fair, I wasn’t asking about your problems. Just about what you might do because of them. In front of me. I hear finding a body’s really traumatic.”</p>
<p>Not that he would know. There was a point when he was medically “dead” and technically a body for a few minutes, but it wasn’t like he remembered any of that.</p>
<p>But the boy just snorted. It was a quiet sound, gentle, like his deep accented voice. “Thank you ever so much for your sympathy. I’ll do my best not to die in front of you, if I get the choice.”</p>
<p>“Appreciated. I’ll do the same. Quid pro quo and all that,” he answered in a similarly facetious tone. Molly made sure he was downwind of his companion before lighting up the cigarette and taking a long, slow drag.</p>
<p>The boy’s shoulders hitched up a bit at the sound of the clicking lighter. Molly turned a fraction to look at him, but didn’t say anything. The boy didn’t look too put off by it. It’d barely been a twitch, really. And Molly had already been admonished for deigning to think about asking about this kid’s problems. No need to press the issue. He knew well what it meant to have shit you didn’t want to talk about.</p>
<p>He had plenty of things he didn’t want to talk about.</p>
<p>So instead of the usual spiel he said, “You know the city well?”</p>
<p>“I have lived here for quite a while,” the boy said.</p>
<p>“You know anywhere nearby that’s fun and not touristy?” Molly asked, looking around at all the many buildings. There were a few bars that the people in his theater class claimed were amazing, but they all looked like gimmicky dives that he had little interest in. He wanted to ask a local where to go, and if that was what might count as a conversation, it was only a bonus.</p>
<p>The boy looked over at him for a moment and Molly had the sudden feeling of being studied. Bright blue eyes swept over him, taking in the combat boots not laced up properly but worn more like slippers, the soft pajama pants covered in stars and moons, the jean jacket that he’d only done one button of, showing his bare chest and tattoos. When he looked away, he just shrugged. “What’s your definition of fun?”</p>
<p>“I ‘spose somewhere that doesn’t card would be preferable.” Molly had gone to a lot of trouble to get an ID that had his chosen name on it. It would be a shame to go through the trouble again for one he could only use for a few years.</p>
<p>He nodded as if that answered all his unasked questions about Molly and pointed to the west of them. “Over there, that little red building, the bottom floor is a German Biergarten. The owners are used to the drinking age being 16.”</p>
<p>“Oh, hell yeah,” Molly grinned, trying to memorize the appearance of the little red building. He’d probably have to look up beer gardens or whatever the boy had said, but he figured he could find it eventually.</p>
<p>The boy looked back over him and he was wearing the “I have a question” face that Molly was beginning to detest. Too many of them were ones he couldn't answer and he was good at spinning bullshit, but someone was going to call him out on a lie one day and he would have nothing.</p>
<p>He braced himself for it. </p>
<p>
  <em>Where are you from?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Why’d you choose Rexxentrum U?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Mollymauk's a weird name, how'd your parents come up with it?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Why do you have so many tattoos?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>What’s with all the scars?</em>
</p>
<p>“Why aren’t you wearing a shirt?”</p>
<p>Molly blinked. “What?”</p>
<p>“You’re not wearing a shirt. It’s cold.”</p>
<p>He almost laughed. That… That was new. That was good. “Oh, I run hot. I’m a demon.”</p>
<p>“Are you now?” The boy smirked at him, a sly little thing that was attractive even in the dark.</p>
<p>Molly only grinned back. “Okay, okay, you got me. Half demon. On my mother’s side.”</p>
<p>“I see.”</p>
<p>“Funny enough, dad was the real bastard.”</p>
<p>He raised a brow at Molly, not with any hostility, just intrigue. “Is anything you say not completely full of shit?”</p>
<p>“Where’s the fun in that?” Molly asked, without any real malice.</p>
<p>The boy shrugged. “I suppose you’re right. The truth is rather ugly.”</p>
<p>“Never trust the truth,” Molly said.</p>
<p>The boy didn’t say anything, just turning those bright blue eyes on him, full force, so he went on. “The truth is vicious, the truth thinks that you owe it something… I don’t owe anything to anyone. I like my bullshit. It’s good, it’s happy, it makes other people happy.”</p>
<p>“Making other people happy is good,” the boy said quietly. “It’s a good goal.”</p>
<p>“I want to leave every place I go a little better than I found it,” Molly said, feeling more truthful with the late hour and the vague anonymity of the situation, despite his speech.</p>
<p>“Have you?” he asked.</p>
<p>Molly looked up again. “What?”</p>
<p>“Have you made every place you’ve left better?” he clarified.</p>
<p>Molly sighed and thought of Gustav and Desmond, so relieved and happy for him once he really started coming into himself. “I think so. I’ve only really been one other place though.”</p>
<p>“Still better than most people,” he said, scratching at his arms a moment.</p>
<p>Molly looked at the thin sweatshirt the boy was wearing again and asked, “What about you? Aren’t you cold?”</p>
<p>“Sometimes I need to be cold,” he said, too much weight in his voice. Molly didn’t really know what to say to that.</p>
<p>Silence fell back between them as Molly took another drag of the cigarette. He still felt like he wouldn’t be able to sleep. After a bit he said, “You know, we’re neighbors now, not strangers. Even if you don’t think we’re friends.” Molly didn’t bother looking over, just trying and failing to blow a smoke ring.</p>
<p>But the boy turned to him instead of the nonexistent stars and raised an eyebrow. “You still think we’re friends?”</p>
<p>Molly just raised a brow in return. He was starting to like this kid. Decent enough for a conversation that wasn’t just a bunch of questions about home that he didn’t know the answer to. Freshman year was starting to grate on his soul, but many of the other kids on floor nine seemed cool. “Why not?”</p>
<p>“Do you know my name?” he asked, face a stony mask that had somehow seen right through him.</p>
<p>Scratching the back of his head, Molly shrugged. It was late enough to make bad decisions too, so he tapped one of the long scars hidden under his peacock’s feathers on his face. “I’ve got a really shitty memory, but you do have a point.”</p>
<p>The boy collected up his gangly legs that had trailed over the edge of the building and hugged them for a moment. He clearly wasn’t giving Molly any special treatment for being a little messed up in the head. It was refreshing. </p>
<p>“Goodbye, Mollymauk Tealeaf.” He stood up, walking for the door back to the stairs down. </p>
<p>“Hey,” Molly sank backwards so he was lying against the ground as the other had been moments before and grinned at the boy upside down, “We’re halfway to being friends then. Tell me your name and we will be.”</p>
<p>The boy looked at him for half a second, red hair lit up like a copper halo in the golden light streaming in from the hallway, before he closed the door and disappeared.</p>
<p>Molly took another long drag of his cigarette and an even longer, slower exhale. He watched the smoke curl up into the inky blue night from his position on his back.</p>
<p>“Well, fuck me.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thanks for reading!! comments &amp; kudos are always appreciated &lt;3</p>
<p>this story updates on saturdays!</p>
<p>(sorry I posted this real late, I got my covid vaccine today and now I'm exhausted lol)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Caleb: History's History</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>People want to be Caleb's friend. He's unsure.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In a classroom, or any room really, Caleb liked to sit by the door. He vastly preferred when the door was near the front of the class, so that the professor could hear him well whenever he answered a question, like his Latin class, but being able to escape at a moment’s notice was more important. Being vigilant like that could save his life, at some point.</p>
<p>It had worked this far, at least.</p>
<p>The door in his second history class was in the back of the room.</p>
<p>So when Mollymauk Tealeaf stumbled into the 11:30 class, a last minute transfer right before the add/drop period ended, at precisely 11:37, Caleb almost groaned out loud.  The urge wasn’t sated as Mollymauk made eye contact with him and waved too enthusiastically, bumping into four desks as he made his way to sit next to him. He’d already interrupted the professor’s lesson to grab a copy of the syllabus, and now everyone in the room was looking in his direction, and therefore Caleb’s.</p>
<p>So much for being grateful Beauregard wasn’t in this class.</p>
<p>It might have helped if he had been able to sleep for more than a few hours after he left Mollymauk on the roof.</p>
<p>He had dozed in and out with Frumpkin purring on his chest as a pleasant tether, but his dreams had swirled with visions of fire and blood and whirling purple. Every time he fell deep enough into his sleep to dream he was jolted awake and had to be soothed by Frumpkin curling closer and licking at his nose.</p>
<p>Caleb was safe.</p>
<p>All of that, all of the real stuff at least, was in the past.</p>
<p>History.</p>
<p>Everything was as okay as it could be, given that there was nothing left to save.</p>
<p>Eventually he just gave up and read the latest novel he’d grabbed at the library, getting halfway through it before his history class. It was a relatively restful morning, despite the lack of sleep.</p>
<p>But the dark circles he’d seen in the mirror probably added a nice effect to the glower he sent in Mollymauk’s direction.</p>
<p>The purple haired boy just grinned and fell into the empty seat beside Caleb.</p>
<p>He turned away and listened to the professor again, writing out notes in his notebook with his messy looping scrawl. If they were tested on the material soon, he’d recall it perfectly, but who knows if he would need to look back on the notes in the next few years of schooling. It was better to be prepared to have the exact wordings of things that professors would expect from him. On the off chance he decided to write his thesis on the time period leading up to the formation of the French Consulate, he would have all the notes ready.</p>
<p>The professor asked a relatively simple question about the French Revolution, and Caleb raised his hand without thinking twice.</p>
<p>Dr. Brokenbranch squinted over the group to see the raised hand in the back of the classroom and said, “Yes, Caleb?”</p>
<p>He sprouted off the fact he’d read about some time long ago in high school, accepting the quick praise from the professor and going back to his notes.</p>
<p>But Caleb heard Molly repeat his name under his breath, hiding a small grin.</p>
<p>Last night’s conversation replayed in his head with perfect clarity, distracting him from the lecture.</p>
<p>
  <em>“You still think we’re friends?” Caleb asked Molly.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He grinned, the lights of the city moving around them flashing in his eyes, dark as the night sky around them, “Why not?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Do you know my name?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Molly had pointed to one of his scars on his head, indicating some past accident, some head injury. “I’ve got a really shitty memory, but you do have a point.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>But Caleb still didn’t want to be his friend. Friends were attachments and attachments got used against you. Attachments only ever hurt. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Goodbye, Mollymauk Tealeaf.”</em>
</p>
<p>Sheiße.</p>
<p>It seemed like someone else wanted to befriend him, and he could guess he didn’t have much in common with Mollymauk, unlike Percy. In fact, he reminded him more of Vax.</p>
<p>Especially in terms of how he didn’t want anything to do with either of them.</p>
<p>Even the praise of the professor wasn’t worth that. Caleb fell silent in his seat.</p>
<p>The rest of the class went by quickly, though Caleb couldn’t say he didn’t notice Molly sitting there. He was just in his field of vision, since Caleb was sitting in the far corner. It was impossible not to notice the bright purple hair and the huge tattooed canvas before him.</p>
<p>It was designed to be noticed, to be admired.</p>
<p>Caleb wouldn’t go that far, but it was just colorful enough to draw his eye once or twice. There were a few patches of the tattoos that didn’t seem to match the style of the rest of them. It was as if they were carefully covering up other marks, but it didn’t appear that any of the tattoos were really intended to cover up the myriad of scars across Molly’s tan skin.</p>
<p>Not that he was staring at Molly’s skin.</p>
<p>Molly’s skin that was practically all on display, only covered with a black crop top that read “speak of the devil” in sprawling cursive.</p>
<p>Not staring at all.</p>
<p>In fact he made a point of not staring, not looking at all, when Molly looked over and winked. </p>
<p>He spent the rest of class writing down what the professor said and only looking from the whiteboard to his notebook. By the time the lecture ended, he had worried a button off the cuff of his shirt.</p>
<p>Tucking it away he just sighed, packing up his things.</p>
<p>“Hey, Caleb!” Molly said, a shit eating grin spread across his face, displaying that he very much knew his name now by drawing out the “a.”</p>
<p>Caleb turned back to him wordlessly, waiting for whatever strange quip the boy had thought of this time and looking at the many piercings across his face that were catching a sunbeam from the gritty classroom window.</p>
<p>“This means we’re friends now, right?”</p>
<p>He didn’t answer. His rolling eyes would have to be enough.</p>
<p>He didn’t let Molly catch up to him either, especially since it took the boy a ridiculously long time to clean up all the crap he’d managed to spread across his desk in a short hour and fifteen minutes (minus seven minutes from being late). By the time he heard the distant “Wait up!” Caleb was already in the stairwell, and thankfully going upstairs instead of down like normal.</p>
<p>Effectively, he disappeared.</p>
<p>His basic core requirement math class was a breath of fresh air. The boy who sat next to him introduced himself quietly as Fjord, saying they were both on floor nine, but then didn’t say another word until the end of class.</p>
<p>“If you ever miss class or something, you can come knock on my door or something,” Fjord said, stopping to highlight a few key equations before tucking his notebook away.</p>
<p>It was organized and thorough and Caleb thought he might actually get along with the boy. He was much taller than him, but in subdued colors and with a patch of vitiligo it looked like he was trying to cover with an awkward hairstyle.</p>
<p>Caleb nodded, packing away his own things. “Ah, same to you, so long as you don’t start skipping classes.”</p>
<p>“God, never,” Fjord laughed in a way that was nervous enough for Caleb to believe it. “I’ve gotta keep my scholarship. It’s really specific.”</p>
<p>He nodded, very familiar with that struggle. Caleb was terrified to let his grades slip. “I need to keep my grades up as well.”</p>
<p>“Glad to know someone’s in the same boat. Did you get the Leviathan Scholarship too?” Fjord slung his backpack over one shoulder and started to follow Caleb out of the classroom. Somehow this was less antagonistic than talking to Mollymauk, albeit a bit boring. Boring could be good. Boring was safe.</p>
<p>“Nein, I am part of RU’s honors program,” he said, holding the door to the stairwell for the other boy.</p>
<p>Fjord nodded, “Right, right. Don’t know anyone else in the program but Avantika. You know her?”</p>
<p>Shaking his head, Caleb let his fingers spin the button in his pocket. He really hoped Fjord wasn’t walking back to the dorm. If they started going in the same direction, perhaps Caleb would split off and get food from the dining hall instead. It was a bit early for dinner, but he hadn’t really eaten anything for lunch besides the granola bar he had at the bottom of his backpack.</p>
<p>“She’s a little weird,” Fjord mumbled. “You’re Nott’s roommate right?”</p>
<p>“I am,” Caleb said, at least grateful that he didn’t seem to be expected to further the conversation himself. “I think you are the roommate of someone I tutor, Caduceus?”</p>
<p>“Yeah! Great guy, a little weird. He filled the windowsill with plants.”</p>
<p>Caleb nodded, “He seems nice enough.”</p>
<p>“He’s pre-med so he’s busy a lot. Means I can be alone, which is nice for once,” Fjord said.</p>
<p>Caleb swallowed. He should be polite. He should ask about Fjord’s home life.</p>
<p>But then Fjord might ask about his.</p>
<p>He would just be rude.</p>
<p>No, he would ask a different question. That could work. “Do you know Nott?” he decided on, since that’s how this all started.</p>
<p>To Caleb’s surprise, Fjord looked a little relieved to change the subject. That was good to know. Perhaps he wouldn’t have to worry about an unwanted interrogation about his family history at least with this one. From his interactions with Percival, Caleb suspected the same about his home life.</p>
<p>Surprisingly, Mollymauk too.</p>
<p>But that was a worry for another time.</p>
<p>“Oh, not really. I’ve seen her with Jester. Are you friends with her like Nott is?” he asked, pulling a bit on the collar of his polo shirt.</p>
<p>Caleb shook his head. He’d done his best to avoid the loud blue haired girl, just like he’d been avoiding Mollymauk. The two seemed to get along like a house on fire and Caleb had had just about enough of those to last a lifetime. They’d turned the communal space on their floor into something of a party every night this week. Nott had tried to drag him there three times already. “Nein. Just Nott.”</p>
<p>“Cool, cool. She seems cool. Nott too, I mean,” Fjord said, very awkwardly kicking a pebble on the sidewalk and almost tripping.</p>
<p>Caleb shot him a look. That was interesting. “Jester spends most nights in the lounge, though. I think they’re hoping to get more people from the floor to hang out.”</p>
<p>“Oh,” he looked up, “that’s good-wait shit, I totally forgot I needed to grab a library book. See you around, Caleb!” He waved as he jogged away, and Caleb genuinely wasn’t sure if the excuse was to stop talking about Jester or if Fjord had really forgotten something.</p>
<p>At least he didn’t have to escape to the dining hall.</p>
<p>As he opened the door to his dorm and heard a very distinct Eastern European accent. Perhaps he should have gone anyways.</p>
<p>“Caleb, look!” Nott beamed at him, actually showing the gap in her teeth that she usually tried to hide. “Jester painted my nails!”</p>
<p>Her nails were a rainbow that would put Mollymauk to shame, and Jester looked almost as happy as his friend as they curled up on their dorm’s small couch. “They look wonderful. You’re quite talented, Jester.”</p>
<p>“Thank you! Do you want yours done? What’s your favorite color?” she asked, rifling through her box of little bottles that was resting on the coffee table of their living room.</p>
<p>Caleb swallowed. The thought of sitting completely still without anything to read while someone touched his hands sounded rather abysmal. There was music, but that wouldn’t be enough. He needed some kind of an excuse. “I-ah, don’t have a favorite color.”</p>
<p>“What?” Nott’s grin faded and he immediately knew that was the wrong way to go about this.</p>
<p>“Caleb, that’s super weird,” Jester frowned, putting the box down.</p>
<p>Nott nodded, “It sounds fake.”</p>
<p>He tried to think if he really did have a favorite color and the first thing that popped into his mind was the jewel toned purple hair of the boy across the hall. Nope. Not thinking about that at all. “I-I don’t think it’s that weird. I just never really thought about it.”</p>
<p>That much was true. He hadn’t worried about the colors of things since he was a small boy. It was much more of a concern whether he got a blue toy or an orange one when there were people actually buying things for him. Now whatever he purchased was essential, or in an effort to stay hidden.</p>
<p>Nott just shrugged, patting the seat beside her on the couch, right in between the two girls. “It’s hard to sit still, but Jester gave me this to roll around in my other hand!” She held up some kind of putty, bright blue and filled with glitter.</p>
<p>It looked… good. It looked like the play dough at Astrid’s house. It looked like bread dough that he used to help his mother knead.</p>
<p>Caleb wanted to squish it. He scratched his arms.</p>
<p>“I get to use that if you paint my nails?”</p>
<p>“Of course! I have other fidgets too, if you want, just try not to get nail polish on them-” She brought out a big bag full of strange things, all designed to keep fingers busy.</p>
<p>“Fidgets?” he asked, thinking about every pen he’d had confiscated for tapping, every lash he’d received for being unable to sit still. He self consciously ran his fingers over the button sitting in his pants pocket.</p>
<p>Jester nodded quickly. “I hate sitting still in class, and I get yelled at for doodling sometimes, so I have these! These are some beads, there’s worry stones, more putty, a few fidget spinners, a fidget cube, a few little stress balls, all sorts of stuff! Give me your left hand and you can use whatever you want with your right.”</p>
<p>He obeyed without question, fascinated, and barely noticed the conversation she and Nott had about colors, or when she switched hands, though he could no longer sink his fingernails deep into the putty and watch the small crescents melt away. Instead he got out the cube with many little buttons, hitting them carefully and enjoying the quiet conversation between Jester and Nott about nothing important.</p>
<p>Jester and Nott were nice. They felt safe.</p>
<p>For all that he had been avoiding Jester, she was very kind when she wasn’t being too loud. Occasionally she and Nott got excited about something and he winced so badly that she had to get a q-tip in nail polish remover to fix his nails, but that only happened twice. Soon his nails were a deep blue, completely dried, and he was able to go back to the putty, completely enamored with it. Perhaps he'd buy some, if he could figure out where to get it.</p>
<p>“I’m gonna order us pizza!” Jester declared, halfway through painting very tiny buttons onto Nott’s fingernails, in contrasting colors to the rainbow already adorning the nails. “Caleb, can you get my card from my bag? It’s the first thing in my wallet, yeah, the pink thing with donuts all over-”</p>
<p>Caleb stopped listening for a moment as he pulled out the American Express card that weighed at least ten times more than a normal credit card. He’d seen a few before, in his parent’s shop before he broke. Working the cash register at the grocery store, only the richest people in town had these.</p>
<p>He swallowed. Somehow, he would find a way to repay her for the kindness. He and Nott could work together. But she was already snatching the card and ordering two pizzas to their dorm, asking about toppings.</p>
<p>Later that night, he returned to his room, full of pizza and properly exhausted. He fed Frumpkin and quickly changed into his pajamas, kissing the cat on the head before going to brush his teeth. For once, he was tired and it was early, so he was going to take advantage. It was unlikely, but if he got ready for bed now, he could catch up on hours of sleep, so long as he had no nightmares. Nott had gone into her room, but he could hear the soft sounds of music on her laptop and see the light under the door. Jester had packed up and left, but sitting on their coffee table was the little tin of blue putty with a bright pink sticky note that read “♥ for Caleb! ♥”</p>
<p>He smiled at the little tin and tucked it into his backpack.</p>
<p>Maybe making a <em>few</em> friends wouldn’t be the end of the world.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thank you for reading!! comments give me life &lt;3</p>
<p>this story updates every saturday!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Molly: Movie Night</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Molly totally isn't a little in love with everyone he meets</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hey.”</p><p>“Hey, Caleb.”</p><p>“Pssssst,” Molly tried again, leaning closer to Caleb and earning a glare. He just flashed a wicked grin, hoping he could at least partially win him over with being attractive, now that they could both see each other away from the dark of night. This was their second history class together, and Caleb was <em>cute.</em> And Molly knew very well that he was hot. He had no idea if Caleb swung that way, but he was probably somewhere in the middle enough to attract almost anyone. At least that’s what he told himself. “Can I borrow a pencil?”</p><p>Caleb looked over with the most exasperated look Molly had ever seen, and yet still managed to look cute. Sure, he needed a good week straight of sleep, and probably a few warm meals that weren’t ramen noodles, but that could be arranged. Maybe Molly could invite him to Gilmore’s Glorious Goods. It would be nice to have company while he worked.</p><p>“I only have pens.”</p><p>“That’s fine!” Molly said, a bit too loud, since class had already started. Professor Sprigg wasn’t actually hard of hearing, but he pretended to be, so Molly didn’t really care. He liked the doddering old man, but not enough to avoid any potential for flirting. No matter how much he liked the professor could make up for how boring history was. The cute boy next to him would be the only reason he enjoyed the class at all.</p><p>Rolling his eyes, Caleb handed him a blue pen, and Molly got a good look at his nails.</p><p>They were a beautiful cobalt blue that lit up bright in the sunbeam their desk chairs were positioned under. It brought out that crazy blue of Caleb’s eyes, and accentuated the slender pale fingers.</p><p>It was surprising and attractive all at once.</p><p>It wasn’t helping the tiny crush he was developing one bit.</p><p>Caleb hadn’t appeared back on the roof late at night over the past week, but Molly was still hoping. And still stressed enough to be taking cigarette breaks up there every few days.</p><p>He was slowing down the habit as he grew busy with other things, but he still liked going outside just to sit. Some of his clothes were starting to smell like cigarettes and that was far too similar to how all of Lucien’s old clothes smelled. That didn’t lead to any good associations, and ended up stressing him out more.</p><p>It was getting aggravating enough that he was considering stopping altogether, though he knew it would be hard.</p><p>But for now, it was an excuse to hope to talk with Caleb again, and not just whisper across the desk to him during their history class, hoping it would lead to more of a friendship. Molly wasn’t dumb enough to think anything would come of his crush, but he did like the kid and want to see him come out of his shell. There was something about his nervous energy that Molly made him want to protect. </p><p>It was a strange thing for him to feel, but he still felt it. Caleb looked a bit like Molly had felt a few months ago, and that worried him.</p><p>He was unfamiliar with that feeling, and wanted to explore it.</p><p>As they were packing up, Molly handed back the pen. “Thanks. I’ll try to remember one next time.”</p><p>“I’m sure,” Caleb said, taking back the pen and tucking it in a threadbare pencil case. No offer of small talk, no pleasantries.</p><p>He was trying far too hard not to be Molly’s friend, and that only made Molly want to push harder. “Where are you headed? Got any more classes?”</p><p>“No. I’m going to rest,” he said, slinging his bag over his shoulder and leaving Molly to scramble to follow.</p><p>“You look like you need it,” Molly said, resisting the urge to gently prod the boy in the arm as he teased. </p><p>Caleb didn’t look like the type to appreciate that, especially since he was glaring back at Molly with those dark circles. But then he just sighed and nodded. “Insomnia is a bitch.”</p><p>Molly almost snorted at the deadpan tone, just smiling back at him. “Is that why you were keeping me company on the roof last week?”</p><p>“As much as I enjoy your company, I wasn’t out there for pleasure,” Caleb said, sarcasm dripping from every word. </p><p>He laughed once, holding the door open to the stairwell for them both. “Well, you’re always welcome to come back. I get bored up there.”</p><p>Caleb frowned at him, like the open doorway was an offer of something more. Like Molly was trying to sell him drugs and he hadn't figured out how to say no. Eventually he just walked through the door and sighed softly. “I hope I do not need to.”</p><p>“For the sake of your dark circles, me too.”</p><p>They both fell silent, walking across the campus. Molly waved to Yasha and a girl from his theater class, Keyleth. Caleb walked in silence, seeming like he was thinking hard about a way to get rid of Molly but unable to think of a decent way to do it. They both knew they were headed to the same place, and, luckily for Molly, there was no real getting around it.</p><p>“You going to watch the movie in the lounge tonight?” Molly finally asked, sick of the awkward silence.</p><p>Caleb sighed deeply, as if Molly had asked if he would be attending his grandmother’s wake. “Nott is insisting I go.”</p><p>“Oh, Nott, the short girl? She lives across the hall from me.”</p><p>Raising a brow, Caleb looked at him peculiarly. “So do I.”</p><p>“Oh. Shit. Really? Guess we have totally different schedules,” Molly scratched the back of his head. Had he really not noticed they were neighbors? And weren’t there name tags on all the doors?</p><p>When they reached the door to the dormitory, Caleb held it open for him. “Perhaps I’m just better at avoiding people than you assumed.”</p><p>Molly frowned at him. “And you’re going to movie night. With Jester.” Jester was lovely, but she was even louder and brighter than Molly at times.</p><p>Caleb looked down at his nails with an acceptance of the inevitable. “It seems Jester is impossible to avoid.”</p><p>“She is a force of nature, to be sure,” he laughed. “But your nails look good, Mr. Caleb.”</p><p>Busy getting out his keys, Caleb didn’t answer, only frowned. Molly looked at his door, adorned with colorful name tags that read <em>Mollymauk Tealeaf</em> and <em>Yasha Nydoorin.</em> Caleb’s door had one that once had a full name but had been scribbled out in sharpie so the first name was different, <em>NOTT Smyt'hh.</em> And where Caleb’s should have been, there was just a ripped piece of tape.</p><p>Definitely strange.</p><p>“See you at movie night, Mr. Caleb,” Molly said, putting on his biggest shit eating grin.</p><p>The groan he heard was definitely worth it. He’d stop annoying the boy and ramp up the flirting eventually, but it was very fun to push his buttons.</p><p>Later that evening he found his way to the lounge, kissing Jester on the cheek as he came in. “Hi, darling. Good to see you again.”</p><p>“Molly! I’m <em>so</em> glad you could make it!” She was beaming, handing him a box of candy and a little bag of popcorn. “Find a seat, we’re about to get started!”</p><p>He nodded, looking around the room and realizing that Caleb and Nott both hadn’t shown up. Oh well.</p><p>Molly flopped down next to Yasha instead, “Hello, dear. How’s your day going?”</p><p>“Good,” she said softly, smiling down at him.</p><p>He nuzzled into her arm, enjoying being close to someone after spending a lot of time reminding himself not to touch Caleb for all of history class. Being so tactile was going to get him into trouble someday. “Wonderful.”</p><p>They sat in relative silence, just enjoying the other’s presence. Yasha seemed steady in a way that Molly hadn’t been expecting when he met her. She was flighty at times and missing a lot, but when she was around she was grounding and kind.</p><p>Wordlessly they swapped candy from each other’s small boxes, Molly passing her dots in exchange for junior mints before the movie started. Jester seemed to be waiting for something, though the hour was pushing on and Beau at least started to look impatient.</p><p>“Caleb, come <em>on,</em> they’re gonna start without us!” Nott’s voice rang out through the hallway, shrill and sharp.</p><p>Molly blinked, trying to see them through the little window in the door to the lounge, but they must have been just out of sight. He couldn’t even hear Caleb’s quiet response, but soon it didn’t matter, since the two of them walked in.</p><p>“Caleb, you came!” Jester cheered, sending the boy into a deep flush.</p><p>He swallowed, eyes flitting nervously around the room. “Ja. It’s just a movie, right?”</p><p>“No, it’s a secret society you’re totally now a part of,” Beau said, deadpan and busy looking at something on her phone.</p><p>Caleb frowned darkly at her and Nott ignored them both, leading Caleb instead to sit by the chairs near the door. After slipping the movie in, Jester started handing out more bags of popcorn, slipping a fidget cube into Caleb’s palm as she skipped around the room.</p><p>Molly smiled as he settled in for a solid hour and a half of cuddling Yasha. That was another reason to like Jester, then.</p><p>As the movie started, Yasha allowed him to cuddle up next to her, keeping an eye on everyone in the room before getting caught up in whatever silly movie Jester had picked.</p><p>Beau had taken up residence on the other side of Yasha, glaring daggers at him just for existing. Or maybe for being cuddly. That was going to be a problem, but it could be one for later.</p><p>Jester had finally settled after depositing her little bags of popcorn around the room, with Fjord awkwardly trying to start a conversation with her while the movie started. Luckily she seemed more than happy to fill the relative silence with too loud whispers, explaining all her favorite trivia about the movie they were about to watch. Fjord seemed nice enough, and Molly might have been harboring the smallest crush on him too. But that might have just been for his ridiculously deep voice, if he was being honest with himself.</p><p>He felt almost the same way about Caduceus, who had shown up not to watch the movie (he hadn’t even remembered it was happening), but stuck around anyway after passing out his homemade granola bars to everyone. Between Caduceus and Gilmore, Molly had only been to the dining hall once or twice since orientation. The tall man had won Molly over with food and beautiful pink hair, not to mention he rather liked the dignity of older men, but his hopes were dashed with the aroace pins worn proudly on the canvas bag he kept full of snacks for everyone. </p><p>Crushes came and went quickly with Mollymauk, and he was happy enough to recategorize Caduceus in his mind from “potential datemate” into “wonderful cook and caretaker.” Since Pike had started getting busier with her job, he’d almost taken over her job as RA, making sure everyone was fed and sane. Fjord was slowly moving from “potential datemate” to “completely, awkwardly and adorably infatuated with Jester,” and with the way she was looking at him, Molly was happy to facilitate that from the sidelines.</p><p>He was surprised that everyone from their floor had shown up for something that wasn’t actually mandatory. Maybe they all didn’t have lives.</p><p>The movie was some old rom com that Molly didn’t really care one way or another towards, but Jester was excited and had promised that there would be pizza at the intermission. He was never one to pass up free food, especially since he didn’t actually work tonight and didn’t feel like subjecting himself to the food at the dining hall. Gilmore and his family were spoiling him, but he wasn’t complaining. Free food on shift that wasn’t made by a disgruntled person in a badly fitting hair net was always preferable.</p><p>He was partially watching the movie, partially scrolling through four different social media apps, and partially watching Caleb.</p><p>There was something about the boy that he just couldn't place.</p><p>The fidget cube in his hands seemed to calm most of the nervous energy Molly saw in him during history class, and he noticed that Caleb let Nott lean into his side.</p><p>That was promising. </p><p>If he could be tactile with her, maybe someday… Well, maybe he’d see if the sweaters the boy was always drowning in were as soft as they looked.</p><p>Halfway through, Jester paused it to run downstairs and pick up the pizza, telling everyone to stretch and take a bathroom break if they needed to. Yasha left to do just that, leaving Molly alone with his phone.</p><p>Molly definitely wasn’t staring at Caleb. That would be weird. And Caleb was just talking quietly with Nott, seemingly reluctant to interact with anyone else, even though he was surrounded by everyone on floor nine. When Jester came back he accepted the pizza, as did almost everyone but Caduceus, who had already eaten. </p><p>It was decent pizza, and Molly was happy enough to cuddle back into Yasha and focus on the second half of the film, even as Beau explained the various overused tropes and sexist implications of some of the character choices. He didn’t understand why Jester liked it either, but he wasn’t really following the plot. The crazy costumes from the nineties were nice though. Maybe he needed something with shoulder pads.</p><p>Caleb was yawning by the end of the movie, slipping out during the credits and going back into his room, not that Molly was watching him. He was watching everyone, a little. Molly excused himself too after talking a bit more with Jester and Caduceus, winking at Yasha as he left. She was staying to talk with Beau for a bit longer. Though she probably wouldn’t last long, the effort for her to socialize with the fellow disaster lesbian was cute. And it was good that everyone seemed to be getting along.</p><p>As nice as it had been to see Caleb interacting with everyone in the lounge, well, sitting near everyone and interacting with Nott, Molly still kind of wished he’d see him on the roof tonight.</p><p>Now he knew he could just wait to hear the door across the hall. But he just heard Nott and Jester saying goodnight as he sprawled across his bed. No stray redheads to have fun conversations with.</p><p>Yasha came back after a while and wished him a goodnight before going to bed herself, but sleep still eluded him.</p><p>It was late into the night and he was half in a trance staring at conspiracy theories on wikipedia before he finally fell asleep.</p><p>
  <em>A dense forest surrounded him, so thick he could barely see the game path he followed in the limited, dappled sunlight.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>This dream was a familiar enough one. He was wearing armor of a sort, thick and leathery, and the maroon jacket that he'd dreamt up before, with all the weird embroidery. He had a few paintings of it, for when his sewing skills got good enough to try it out in the waking world.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>As ever, his skin was purple and littered with the same scars he always had. Charms jingled from his ears and (he double checked, just to be sure they were still there) his horns.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Beneath him was his horse, a light tawny color with a shining brown mane. Beautiful, rippling with muscle, the horse trotted through the woodland path, unperturbed by the quiet, eerily calm forest around them. Normally a forest was alive with sound. Molly enjoyed that; the way the leaves rustled, the birds, the squirrels, kids making out under trees. It was lovely.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But not tonight.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was golden hour and there was light wind, but all Molly could hear was the light sound of his horse's hooves hitting the worn dirt path. It was thin and winding, not even a footpath but some kind of game trail.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Alert and uneasy, Molly leaned closer to his horse, relishing in the warmth of it compared to the crisp night that was beginning to overtake the forest as the sun set.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But in the last rays of golden light, he saw fire.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A stag made of flame wound through the trees, not catching the leaves or brush in its path but just drifting through the sunlight like it belonged there. No fire spread, but it was burning bright and hot as a phoenix reborn. It was beautiful, and though Molly had never hunted in his life, he snapped the reins on his horse and started to follow.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>They moved at impossible speeds through the wood, and the trees seemed to twist and bend to allow the deer a path wherever it pleased. Molly trailed in the path, following each twist and turn but struggling to gain any distance on the ethereal creature.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>As soon as the deer appeared, it was gone, replaced by a humanoid figure in a meadow.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was the boy again, eyes on fire and antlers around his head like a crown.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dismounting from his horse, Molly walked towards the boy, cupping his cheek. The boy closed his burning eyes and revealed the beautiful blue ones again.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Hallo, Mr. Mollymauk.”</em>
</p><p>Molly shot out of bed, probably bruising his ass on the other side. Yasha was nowhere to be seen, probably already practicing. He let his head fall into his hands, ignoring the morning sun streaming down on him.</p><p>Of course.</p><p>Of <em>course</em> the weird figure in his dreams had to be the cute kid across the hall.</p><p>As if he didn't have enough to deal with.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thank you for reading! comments make my day &lt;3</p><p>this story updates every saturday!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Caleb: Dead Parents Club</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Unhealthy coping mechanisms? We got 'em</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>The fire raged on in front of him, a cart in front of the door instead of the metal pipe blocking the entrance of the storefront.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>But the screams, the screams were the same.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Leofric and Una Ermendrud, destined to burn in any universe, dreamscape or otherwise.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>And Bren, destined to be driven mad by screams.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>A bright, cracking sound, a purple hand across his cheeks.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Red, piercing eyes, a crooked smile that was too familiar.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Wake up.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>A light kiss on the forehead.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“There’ll be time for that later.”</em>
</p>
<p>Caleb gasped, opening his eyes to Frumpkin, batting at his face and starting to lick away the tears.</p>
<p>Before he could really stop himself, he found himself on the roof, unable to deny the fact that the strange figure in his dreams looked a lot like the one lighting a cigarette next to him. Nott had been asleep on the couch, a textbook still open on her chest, but he managed to sneak past her, out into the hallway and to the roof. For a while, they just sat in silence.</p>
<p>“Do I smell bad or something?” Mollymauk asked, raising a brow as Caleb unconsciously flinched away from the smoldering cigarette in his hand.</p>
<p>It was a small enough flame that he didn’t feel the need to leave, but it was still burning. He could still hear the screams. “You smell like smoke,” he said quietly, trying not to scratch his arms.</p>
<p>“Is that a bad thing?”</p>
<p>“Objectively? No. Subjectively, yes. No offense.” Despite it all, it was nice not to be alone. The roof was cold and grounding, more so than just his cat.</p>
<p>Molly shrugged, shuffling further down wind. “None taken. I hate the smell myself. I’ve been meaning to quit, but I’m not sure how else to relax.”</p>
<p>“There are better ways,” Caleb mumbled, hugging his knees. He was being hypocritical, especially now, and he knew it. But Molly didn’t seem to care.</p>
<p>He took another long drag, inspecting the glowing thing in his hands. “Like what?”</p>
<p>Caleb took a deep breath. “Vilya, the counselor, would be better at this than I am.”</p>
<p>“I didn’t ask her. I asked you.”</p>
<p>The best thing for his anxiety was Frumpkin. There was no way he was going to say anything about that.</p>
<p>“I like Jester’s fidgets. For class at least. And there’s breathing exercises to help you sleep. Sometimes they work.”</p>
<p>Molly ran a hand through his thick purple hair. It was getting longer, curlier and dark at the roots. “What about when they don’t?”</p>
<p>Caleb looked out over the city of Rexxentrum, quiet and calm in the wee hours of the morning. Somewhere out there was Ikithon, living life as if nothing was wrong. Maybe he was looking for Caleb. Maybe he already knew where he was hiding. But Molly’s worries likely weren’t as real as his own. “I like to be cold. It reminds me I’m… I’m not sure. Alive? A person? Something that needs to function.” Something that had unfinished business.</p>
<p>“I make lists of things that cause me stress and I plan what to do for each one. Tackle it one at a time. Understand that some fears are irrational.” He scratched his arms. He wouldn’t mention the rational fears. The fears that were perfectly reasonable and sent him up to the roof most nights. The fears and the memories, all too real, that were still racing through his mind.</p>
<p>Molly nodded and crushed the cigarette against the ground. “What do you do when none of it works?”</p>
<p>“What do you do when the cigarettes don’t calm you down?” Caleb asked softly, scratching at his arms again. The screams were growing quieter, further from his dreams and closer to his goals.</p>
<p>“Point taken.”</p>
<p>The horizon brightened ever so slightly and Caleb almost groaned. “I should try and sleep again,” he said, knowing it was early enough that he would just go back to his room, read, and get coffee when the dining hall opened.</p>
<p>“Best of luck,” Molly said, holding his half empty pack of cigarettes and staring at it like it had something important to say.</p>
<p>Back in Caleb’s dorm room, Nott woke up on the couch, despite Caleb trying his best to be quiet. The sun was rising anyways.</p>
<p>"Caleb?" </p>
<p>"Ja?"</p>
<p>"Have you ever had a crush?"</p>
<p>He swallowed, trying not to think about loud laughs and giggles, purple and blue hair, bags of fidgets and swirling tattoos. Cigarette smoke and lavender and cinnamon. Instead he plopped down on the couch near her. "Define crush."</p>
<p>Nott sighed softly and fell until her head rested on his shoulder. "Someone you can't take your mind off. Someone who smiles at you and you feel like the whole world is melting and you just-just wanna punch something-" she cut herself off in a huff, frowning at her lap.</p>
<p>“I believe I’m a little less prone to violence of that nature than you, Nott,” he said softly. He wouldn’t think about blonde hair either, cropped close on one side, or dark curls, long legs, matching scar tissue. “Do you want to talk about them?”</p>
<p>She chewed her lip. “Not really. Have you though?”</p>
<p>Caleb thought about them all. All the things he didn’t deserve, then or now. “Something similar, yes. A long time ago. Though it was never exactly, well, the best idea for any of us. We… We were not in a good place.” Mentally, physically, literally, figuratively, Nott could take that any way she wanted.</p>
<p>“Did it end up okay?”</p>
<p>He sighed softly and thought about the dorm he shared with her, his classes, his new life. “I’m as okay as I can be, I think.”</p>
<p>Nott reached over and squeezed his hand. “Thank you, Caleb. Maybe… I might want to talk about it, someday. Eventually.”</p>
<p>“I’m here,” Caleb said, and he found he meant it. He really liked Nott.</p>
<p>Caleb liked it here.</p>
<p>He liked Nott, and Jester, and he loved the atmosphere of learning, and most of the other people on floor nine were tolerable. Tutoring was pleasant too.</p>
<p>One of Caleb’s therapists found that Caleb liked to be prepared.</p>
<p>It helped him, heading into a new situation if he knew what people would be there, what he would be expected to do, what the atmosphere would be like. So he might have taken that a bit too far, but the research he did before entering into an uncertain situation really did help him feel like he had some aspect of control.</p>
<p>Knowing he would have to order something from a person at a counter was entirely different from preparing himself to use self checkout. Saving himself from the worry of wondering was probably less laborious than the actual research.</p>
<p>So he wanted to know exactly what would happen during Ikithon’s trial.</p>
<p>And talking to Dairon made him feel ill.</p>
<p>So he wanted to read a law book.</p>
<p>Or preferably many. If he could be more prepared than Ikithon and whatever lawyer the prep school’s money would probably pay for, perhaps this would all be behind him. Perhaps he could stop running. Perhaps he could stop feeling so afraid.</p>
<p>He liked it here, and he wanted to stay.</p>
<p>So he went to the library that morning to look up some law books. Every single one he looked up was in the restricted section. He resolved to ask Scanlan about it when he went to study for his first quiz in Greek class with him, Percy, and Taryon.</p>
<p>On the way to the dorm after class, Scanlan, who Caleb had learned was on a pre-law track, explained why while Percy and Vax bickered about something behind them. “Any textbook used in a law class was made restricted, along with a bunch of other classes since kids were just going into the library, photocopying the whole book and leaving. I heard a kid was even selling scanned pdf copies for cheap. Now you need permission from a teacher in the program the book belongs to.”</p>
<p>Caleb deflated. “Ah. I see.”</p>
<p>“But,” Scanlan said, leaning over conspiratorially, “if you schmooze with someone who works in the library, you can convince them to let you borrow one, on the down low.”</p>
<p>“Right,” Caleb said softly, feeling a small curl of dread grow in his stomach. The only person he knew who worked in the library was Beauregard. And he was pretty sure she hated him.</p>
<p>Vax unlocked the door then, saving him from thinking too much more about that as Percy spread his arms out and said, "Welcome to our humble abode." </p>
<p>"Don't be put off by it all, Percy and Tary are both loaded," Vax said quietly into Caleb's ear as he walked in. "They don't really understand money."</p>
<p>Taryon, who was sitting on a couch that was probably bigger in surface area than any couch Caleb had ever seen outside of movies, frowned up at them. "I understand money!"</p>
<p>"Just because your family lost all their money and is poor now doesn't magically enlighten you with money management skills. Especially when Percy bails you out of whatever stupid bullshit you get into." Vax threw down his backpack and showed Caleb where to do the same.</p>
<p>Percy emerged from the kitchen with bottles of soda in hand. "It's not that bad, is it?"</p>
<p>The soda bottles were glass, labels exalting the soda inside for being all natural, organic, non-GMO, and a hundred other things Caleb hadn’t ever cared about.</p>
<p>The t.v. Taryon was watching seemed to be about as big as a movie theater.</p>
<p>Every piece of furniture was white or black, chic, new, and didn’t have a speck of dust.</p>
<p>The apartment was the entire penthouse floor.</p>
<p>Caleb had never seen such wealth on a personal level in his entire life. Vax gave him a knowing look, but even he had name brand clothing and didn't have a job.</p>
<p>This was all new, and Caleb was out of his element.</p>
<p>Percy deflated a bit as he handed Caleb the soda. "Okay, so it's bad. We have money. Well, Tary and I."</p>
<p>"No, I'm a poor person now," Tary pouted. "I have a <em>job."</em></p>
<p>“It’s not a concern, really,” Caleb mumbled, still looking around, wide eyed.</p>
<p>Vax slid over again and handed him one of the sodas, “Don’t worry, they don’t judge. Just take any expensive gifts with a ‘thank you’ and know they don’t actually expect anything in return. They let me live here for free after all.”</p>
<p>“If it makes you uncomfortable we can go somewhere else-” Percy started to say.</p>
<p>Tary cut him off, “But I’m comfy here-”</p>
<p>“I’m <em>not</em> going back to my dorm; Grog hasn’t done laundry in three weeks and it smells like that time I vomited in his gym shoes,” Scanlan said</p>
<p>“It’s fine, really,” Caleb said, pulling his Greek notebook out of his backpack.</p>
<p>"Good man," Vax said, patting his shoulder and walking off to his bedroom. “Have fun learning Greek or whatever.”</p>
<p>Caleb settled on the second modular couch, yes there were two, worrying a bit about the possibility of orange cat hair that would give away Frumpkin’s existence. He’d lint rolled his clothes before he left, but the fur was starting to become an issue. Soon he’d need to get a small vacuum or something.</p>
<p>Once they actually got into studying, things went more smoothly. Caleb quizzed them on the new vocabulary and they spent time copying out a few of the practice sentences, comparing them after and seeing where they went wrong. </p>
<p>It was relaxed and studious, and Caleb was calming down, right about when Scanlan declared, “I’m bored out of my mind. Can I have something better than soda?”</p>
<p>“Can do,” Tary said, hopping up and heading to the fridge. He returned once with one drink for himself, having forgotten Scanlan even asked for one by the time he got to the fridge, but eventually made it back with four beers.</p>
<p>Caleb was about to decline when he saw the label. It was the only beer his father ever drank, imported from Germany and difficult to find. He’d purchased it right from the supplier and kept it in the grocery store. It was popular with all the other German immigrants in Blumenthal, and he found himself unable to say no.</p>
<p>“I’ve never had a real German critique my beer selection,” Percy said, watching Caleb carefully.</p>
<p>Letting the nostalgia wash over him, Caleb paused a moment before answering. “My parents were the real Germans, but I can assure you that your choice was well made.”</p>
<p>Percy nodded with a strange look on his face, about to say something before Tary said, “Were?” Percy quickly elbowed him in the side, but the damage was done.</p>
<p>Caleb stared down at the beer bottle in his hands. Last night's screams were far away, and the image of his father smiling and drinking a beer over the small grill in the backyard was much stronger. His mother stealing a sip and a kiss on the cheek before asking Bren about his day. “Ja.”</p>
<p>“Well, Tary’s the odd man out there,” Scanlan said, a little softer than normal.</p>
<p>Percy nodded. “His family’s alive, but they hate him.”</p>
<p>“Hey!” Tary said, “I mean, you’re right, but still.”</p>
<p>Vax called from the kitchen, “We haven’t had nearly enough alcohol to be talking about dead family members.”</p>
<p>“No one’s asking you to talk about your dead mom, Vax!” Percy called out, taking a too big swig of his own bottle.</p>
<p>“Fuck you, Percival, just because you win the dead family Olympics-”</p>
<p>“Vax, shut up and grab the vodka or something,” Scanlan said, already polishing off his first bottle.</p>
<p>Caleb blinked, still taken aback by everyone’s sudden admissions. He’d only known these people a few weeks, and most of them hadn’t said anything to him that didn’t have to do with a language class. College seemed to make people much more vocal, more willing to be vulnerable. He still wasn't used to it.</p>
<p>But then he was handed another beer and Vax sat down next to him, an arm around the back of the couch, almost touching his shoulders. “If you do want to talk about it, obviously we’ll understand. Well, we all will," he gestured to everyone but Tary, "and if Tary says something stupid you’re allowed to punch him.”</p>
<p>“Should I just go?” Tary said, looking around.</p>
<p>Percy threw back a shot. “You’re fine, Tary.” The blond man settled a bit, watching Percy with worried eyes.</p>
<p>Vax was still looking at Caleb, “My mom died after my dad stole custody from her. Cancer, and she was all alone.” He took a shot himself. “They said it was fast, but Vex and I never know if they were just lying to be nice to us.”</p>
<p>“My mother was killed in a mugging gone wrong,” Scanlan said, drinking straight from the bottle of liquor Percy had brought to the table. “Never knew my dad. I guess I just mean, you’re in good company.”</p>
<p>“My whole family was killed in a ridiculous attempt to steal all our assets. I ran. They kept my sister hostage for weeks, trying to negotiate the bank funds away. If I had stayed-” Percy cut himself off, shook his head, and looked over at him. “You don’t have to tell us, but it’s good not to bottle it up.”</p>
<p>“You also don’t know us all that well. It’s okay.” Vax leaned over a bit and squeezed his shoulder. “No wonder Percy wanted to adopt you. It’s like he can smell trauma.”</p>
<p>Percy rolled his eyes, “Not my fault everyone on floor nine was fucked up and we all got codependent.”</p>
<p>“You all were on floor nine?” Caleb asked, looking around. He supposed that made sense. It seemed like they knew his RA Pike, who had lived their previously as well. He was pretty sure Grog had mentioned it once or twice as well.</p>
<p>Scanlan nodded, “It’s where they throw all the weirdos. You end up there?”</p>
<p>“Ja,” he said softly. “I suppose I am a ‘weirdo’.”</p>
<p>There was a small silence.</p>
<p>Maybe he should say something. Not everything, but maybe something.</p>
<p>It felt like it was clawing at his chest, begging to be freed. But this was different. <em>He</em> was different. He was the reason his parents were dead. These people couldn't really understand that. He hadn't even told them his real name, and now he was thinking of divulging his greatest secret.</p>
<p>He looked at the beer bottle in his hands. “My father used to like this brand. It’s been… two months, three weeks, and a day.”</p>
<p>Percy cursed under his breath, and Scanlan poured Caleb a shot. Tary mumbled something about it being so recent, eventually excusing himself to call his mother.</p>
<p>He took the shot gratefully while Vax squeezed his shoulder and changed the subject. Percy eventually ordered them all dinner, insisting Caleb take back the leftover Chinese food back to his dorm room. He could only argue against free food for so long after being heavily intoxicated. Vax caught him on the way out, leaning against the door frame. “They say it gets easier, but that’s kind of bullshit. You just get better at dealing with it. If you want to talk, or scream, or punch someone, you have our numbers. Any of us would be will to... you know. Whatever. We get it.”</p>
<p>Caleb stared at the boy with his long hair all messed up and the hazy look of alcohol on his face. He was sure he looked the same. “Danke. You all are… too kind.”</p>
<p>“You deserve it, even if you think you don’t right now.”</p>
<p>He walked back to his dorm and found a familiar face, sitting on the floor outside his room.</p>
<p>“Oh, hey, Caleb,” Molly said, looking up from his phone.</p>
<p>“Why are you on the floor?” he asked. It wasn’t all that late, but he felt quite groggy with all the impromptu afternoon drinking.</p>
<p>“Forgot my key,” Molly shrugged. “It’s fine. Yasha should get back in… an hour,” he said, checking his phone for the time. “Have you been drinking?”</p>
<p>Caleb nodded then shrugged and shifted his weight from one foot the other. He could hear his mother speaking about hospitality in his ear, but he also very much didn't want to invite Mollymauk into his space.</p>
<p>“Are you good at keeping secrets?” he asked, too tipsy for the realization that this was a bad idea.</p>
<p>Molly frowned but nodded, “You know I prefer lying rather than the truth. Why would I spread other people’s truths?”</p>
<p>“One moment,” he said, slipping inside his own dorm and ignoring Molly’s confusion.</p>
<p>“Nott?” he asked, once inside.</p>
<p>She peeked out from her room. “Yes, Caleb?”</p>
<p>“You can pick locks.”</p>
<p>She frowned at him, coming out. “You know I can. Is that suddenly a problem? Are you drunk?”</p>
<p>“Nein. Will you pick the lock to Mollymauk’s door?”</p>
<p>Her shoulders lowered. “Oh, of course. Hold on.”</p>
<p>She disappeared again while he threw down his backpack in his room and gave Frumpkin a quick scratch before putting away the Chinese food and joining her again.</p>
<p>“I think I like drunk Caleb. So what are we stealing-” Nott asked, cutting herself off as she saw Molly sitting on the floor. She looked up to Caleb, almost betrayed.</p>
<p>He was mostly just confused, “Nothing-What? Nevermind. Mr. Mollymauk left his key in his room.”</p>
<p><em>“Oh,”</em> she said, nodding slowly. “That makes sense. Shove over a second, Tealeaf.”</p>
<p>Molly stepped aside and looked suitably impressed when Nott popped the lock open for him. “Shit. Think you could teach me to do that?”</p>
<p>She narrowed her eyes at him. “So you can break into our room? I don’t think so.”</p>
<p>He laughed and patted her on the shoulder. “Well, you’re an angel regardless. Thank you both.”</p>
<p>“Bitte,” Caleb mumbled, just ducking back into his own room and falling into the bed. He blissfully had no dreams that night.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thank you so much for reading!! comments always make my day &lt;3</p>
<p>this story updates every saturday (sorry for the late post! got my second shot today and feeling really crummy...)!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Molly: Dirty Laundry</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Airing out some dirty laundry. Mostly literally.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Caleb, surprisingly, wasn’t hung over. Or at least he didn’t look it.</p>
<p>Molly blinked, moving his way to the back of the history class and sitting down beside him. Carefully he deposited the coffee, creamer, and handful of sugar packets he’d grabbed for Caleb onto his desk and sat down.</p>
<p>Looking over at Professor Sprigg to make sure the lesson wasn’t starting yet, Caleb frowned over at Molly. “What’s this?”</p>
<p>“A thank you for yesterday, since Nott, angel that she is, wouldn’t have done that for me without interference. I thought it was a better gift before I knew you wouldn’t be nursing a hangover,” he said, sitting and sipping at his own frappe.</p>
<p>Caleb frowned at the drink for a moment before returning the expression to Molly. “I didn’t drink that much.”</p>
<p>“Darling, you smelled like the bottom of a Svedka bottle.”</p>
<p>He frowned even more but just took a sip of the black coffee. “It was very good vodka. Not Svedka.”</p>
<p>Molly rolled his eyes and pulled out his notebook, flipping to the last page. It was more doodles than notes, but it was something. Maybe Caleb would let him borrow his notes someday. “Even so, you were definitely not sober.”</p>
<p>“My point also stands,” Caleb mumbled. “You will not tell anyone?”</p>
<p>“That you were drinking?” he asked, not expecting that. Mollymauk certainly didn’t ever present as someone who stayed away from illicit substances, especially when he’d asked Caleb about good places to drink when they first met.</p>
<p>“Nein,” he said, not meeting his eyes and just staring into his own notebook. It was fucking color coded. “About Nott and her… skills.”</p>
<p>Molly almost snorted, “God no. I’m sure I’ll get locked out again and I really don’t want to talk to the grump security guard downstairs.”</p>
<p>“Bryce is nice, once you get to know them,” Caleb shrugged. “But thank you.”</p>
<p>“Of course. Maybe next time instead of convincing Nott to help, you could just take me out wherever you got that fancy vodka,” Molly grinned, admiring the light flush it brought to Caleb’s cheeks before Professor Sprigg began to talk.</p>
<p>The lecture itself wasn’t very interesting, especially compared to the cute little blush under Caleb’s freckled cheeks, but he spent a bit of time doodling Caleb’s profile in the top corner of his notes. It was quite a good sketch, really, but it was the most interesting thing to happen for that hour.</p>
<p>And the rest of that evening, really.</p>
<p>The rest of his day was <em>decidedly</em> boring. Yasha was in practice, Jester was in classes all afternoon, and the study session he had planned with Keyleth got cancelled because she had to cover an extra shift at The Slayer’s Cake. She promised to drop off some pastries later in the evening as an apology, but he’d really been hoping to actually study.</p>
<p>Staring at the assigned script in front of him did nothing. His memory was as shitty as it always was, and Keyleth was struggling in the class with horrible stage fright. They both excelled in ways the other didn’t, and he was hoping to at least get something memorized to be able to try out for the play. Tryouts were next week and he was as lost as he could get. As much as he enjoyed being a stagehand, he wanted to try his hand at acting at least once.</p>
<p>Instead, he decided to finish up his other homework. </p>
<p>He probably didn’t actually do it well, but that was beside the point. It was already done, Keyleth had dropped off some savory pastries so he didn’t even have to go get dinner, and he was bored out of his mind.</p>
<p>She couldn’t stay, having other homework due tomorrow, and he was alone again.</p>
<p>He descended into a pit of useless YouTube videos and scrolling through every social media app he had access to.</p>
<p>Yasha walked in just as he was debating how difficult it would be to give himself a stick ‘n poke tattoo. The tutorials he found looked simple enough, but it probably wouldn’t look as good as the rest.</p>
<p>She greeted him, “Hello, Molly.”</p>
<p>“Yasha! How are you, dear?” he beamed, clinging to the promise of interaction.</p>
<p>“Tired,” she said, dropping her gym bag and rubbing her eyes. “I might call it an early night.”</p>
<p>He tried not to visibly deflate. “Right, right. Sleep is important.”</p>
<p>She shot him a look. “It is. Sleep is very important.”</p>
<p>Molly shrank a bit under the intense gaze. He wasn’t used to anyone observing his terrible sleeping habits. “Okay, fine, fine. Maybe I’ll call it an early night too.”</p>
<p>And he tried.</p>
<p>He tried really hard.</p>
<p>Yasha had taken some time to get ready for bed, allowing him an hour or so to chat and relax before she turned off the light and curled up in her pile of blankets.</p>
<p>But he was tossing and turning a lot more than he was relaxing.</p>
<p>And It wasn’t really <em>that</em> late, but he was still very much not tired.</p>
<p>It was only after he gave up and pulled up the script of the play on his phone that his exhaustion caught up to him and he finally drifted off. Well, after accidentally dropping his phone on his face twice and scaring the shit out of himself. It was a miracle his small yelps didn’t wake Yasha.</p>
<p>Once he rolled onto his side, he was gone.</p>
<p>
  <em>Pressure.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Pressure, all around him, suffocating him, keeping him from breathing.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Everything was dark, crunching and groaning of metal squeezing around him, leaving him broken, slicing him open, cracked open, lost in his own mind.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Bright, bright, bright.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Hospital ceilings racing over his head, too bright, too white.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Needles in his arm, tethers on his frantic, flailing limbs.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He was hurting himself.</em>
</p>
<p><em>But he couldn’t move, he couldn’t </em>move.<em></em></p>
<p>
  <em>He couldn’t move and he couldn’t remember-</em>
</p>
<p>Molly sat up straight in bed, breathing heavily and covering his mouth on any sounds that might wake Yasha, sound asleep across the room. </p>
<p>A glance over proved that she was still sleeping, blissfully unaware of the swirling horror in his mind. It would be best to keep that way. That meant he couldn’t stay in this room.</p>
<p>He needed to get up, to pace, to mumble to himself, and he needed to do something with his hands. Slowlyly, gingerly, he slipped out of bed and into his slippers, tiptoeing and trying to figure out what to do. Yasha had proved a sound sleeper, but probably wouldn’t take kindly to him stomping around the room. It was too late to try going to the roof to see if Caleb was out there; he’d never seen the boy past 2am, but he needed to do <em>something.</em></p>
<p>So he grabbed his hamper, the brand new laundry detergent, and went out into the hall.</p>
<p>Molly had never done his own laundry before.</p>
<p>It wasn’t something Gustav and Desmond thought to teach him before he left home, though they did buy him his own hamper. His two adoptive fathers were wonderful, but a little scatterbrained.</p>
<p>To be fair, it probably was more important that he learn to read and write, when he could technically just google how to do his laundry.</p>
<p>The first few times he did it alongside Yasha, copying her movements and borrowing her detergent.</p>
<p>Then he had her write down the name of the detergent for him to buy so he could try it himself. He promised once he got the hang of it, he’d do a load of her laundry as thanks for using hers. Clearly she didn’t actually mind sharing, but he felt like he owed her so much already, just for being such a good friend. His first friend, really.</p>
<p>He didn’t want to have to rely on her for this. Not when he really wanted to wear his cozy fuzzy leggings tomorrow, and as of right now they had a distinct odor.</p>
<p>Not when he was awake with shaking hands and she was fast asleep, calm and gentle in her repose.</p>
<p>But he was standing in front of the washing machine with a growing headache and drawing a complete blank. There were too many buttons and he couldn’t remember how much of the soapy crap to use.</p>
<p>So when someone walked in on his little staring contest, he almost dropped the detergent and spilled it all over the floor.</p>
<p>“Entschuldigung.” That accent he could pick out of a lineup.</p>
<p>Molly raised a brow, seeing Caleb frozen halfway through the door with a big hamper. “Bless you?”</p>
<p>“Ah, sorry, it-it means sorry, excuse me-” he mumbled, cheeks turning pink.</p>
<p>Nodding, Molly put down his detergent, “Right, right. No worries. Just didn’t know anyone else was awake.”</p>
<p>No one should be awake. It was past three in the morning now, and any reasonable person would be asleep. The laundry room was completely empty, as a testament to that fact.</p>
<p>Caleb didn’t seem to be a reasonable person, despite all the bookishness.</p>
<p>“I think it’s safe to say we both have horrible sleeping habits,” Caleb said softly, looking down the line to find an empty machine. They were all empty, besides the one in front of Mollymauk. The one right near the door was free and he took it, mirroring where he always sat in class. And in his dorm. And the cafeteria.</p>
<p>An escape route, it occurred to Molly’s racing, still anxious mind.</p>
<p>“I mean, probably. I probably drive Yasha insane, even though she sleeps like a rock,” Molly mused, stuffing his clothes in the machine with a sigh. He didn’t actually want Caleb to think he was any more of an idiot than he already did.</p>
<p>Especially when he was carefully taking out <em>two</em> bottles, not just one, and a small box. It would make sense that he would be a genius even when it came to laundry.</p>
<p>He finished putting in his clothes and spied a stain on a pair of his white leggings. Swearing under his breath, he just stared at it, willing it to go away or be a figment of his imagination. Sleep deprivation could do that to a person, right?</p>
<p>“Stain remover?”</p>
<p>“Excuse me?” Molly looked up and saw Caleb handing him a bottle.</p>
<p>A test.</p>
<p>One he was going to fail.</p>
<p>Caleb rolled his eyes, “Give it here.”</p>
<p>Molly rose from his crouch, nose scrunched up. Caleb didn’t actually look annoyed though, just like a professor or something. A very cute professor. About to teach Molly the intricacies of laundry at three in the morning, all while Molly’s hands were still trembling. He clasped them behind his back, watching. If Caleb noticed, he said nothing.</p>
<p>He laid the white leggings out flat across the washing machine and checked for other stains before handing the bottle of stain remover into Molly’s hand. “Pour as much in as you would put detergent, pretending the cup is like the barrel. Fill it to where you have filled your clothes to.”</p>
<p>Molly frowned, looking down at the cup again, until Caleb walked over and pointed inside the washing machine. “You’ve filled it half way, so fill up the cup halfway. It’s a good way to measure.”</p>
<p>Nodding, he did as Caleb asked, then looked back at his leggings. Caleb held up the stained knee and cupped his hand so the dirty spot was concave. “Pour a little right on the stain, then rub it together.”</p>
<p>Pale fingers stopped him from pouring out too much, then folded the pants around the stain remover and handed it back. “Work it in, then put them, still folded, on top.”</p>
<p>He rubbed the fabric together, then stuck them inside the machine. “Do you take the rest?” he asked, looking at the little cup.</p>
<p>“It’ll go with your regular detergent, in here,” Caleb said, magically finding the little hidden door where the detergent got poured in and tapping the right spot for him after it was open and everything.</p>
<p>Molly did it.</p>
<p>It was different than Yasha pouring out the detergent and opening it all up. He felt like he might actually have the muscle memory now.</p>
<p>“I… Thank you,” Molly mumbled, unable to think of any snarky comments or even anything funny to say.</p>
<p>Caleb just nodded, continuing to check his own clothes for stains. Like he hadn’t just done something incredibly kind and helpful. It was like a repeat of yesterday and the lockpick, but Molly still didn’t know how to repay him. How do you thank someone for teaching you to do laundry when they don’t know you barely remember anything from before seventh months ago?</p>
<p>He’d figure it out later.</p>
<p>With everything fresh in his memory, Molly jogged back to his dorm, grabbed his wallet, and then ran out to the 24-hour convenience store on the corner. He bought the exact kind of stain remover Caleb had given him, and even the weird little box. He had no idea what “bounce dryer sheets” were, but if Caleb used them, they probably did something good. </p>
<p>If he did it again right away, maybe it would stick. He hauled Yasha’s hamper down to the laundry room, surprised to find Caleb still there, near the dryers.</p>
<p>“Oh, hey.”</p>
<p>Caleb looked up like he’d been caught doing something, flushing just gently. Maybe it was the sleep deprivation, but that little blush made him even cuter. “Hallo. I didn’t know you had more laundry.”</p>
<p>“I borrowed some of Yasha’s detergent last time, so I thought I’d do hers for her,” Molly said, lifting up the different hamper.</p>
<p>He nodded, chewing his lip before turning back to what he was doing somewhat reluctantly. It seemed like he didn’t want to be watched. Slowly, methodically, he was cleaning out the weird fuzzy grates in each of the dryers. Molly couldn't remember what they were called.</p>
<p>Trying not to let his curiosity get the better of him, he just went through the motions of setting up Yasha’s laundry, trying to memorize each step like Caleb had shown him. Her clothes didn’t seem to have stains for the most part, but he did use some of the stain remover on the sweaty patches of her field hockey jerseys.</p>
<p>When he was finished, Caleb was still going through all the dryers and collecting a huge ball of fuzz. “You making a felt creature or something?” Molly asked, unable to help himself. He didn’t want to think about his nightmare again, and this was a welcome distraction now that there was nothing else to do with his hands. Caleb made him curious on a regular day, especially with the strange dreams. This was too much to resist.</p>
<p>“Was?” he asked, startled enough to start speaking German again. Molly had looked that one up, though he’d spent a lot of time typing “vass” into Google Translate before realizing he was just asking “what?”</p>
<p>“The fuzz pile. You don’t look like you make art projects in your spare time, but I can’t think of any other reason,” Molly shrugged, trying not to look as fascinated by the weird action as he was. It was probably the lack of sleep.</p>
<p>Caleb looked at the pile in his hands for a moment as if debating whether or not to tell the truth. Or say anything at all.</p>
<p>“Many people forget to check the lint trap. It’s a common cause of fires.”</p>
<p>Molly looked at those eyes that he’d seen consumed with fire and filled with tears in his dreams. They looked much closer to tears.</p>
<p>Fire.</p>
<p>Something about the possibility of Molly's dreams having some grain of truth to them was unsettling. But knowing Caleb might need comfort just as much as he did in the dreams made him feel as though he needed to stick around. To protect him, if he ever could.</p>
<p>It was easier than thinking about his own nightmares.</p>
<p>"That's very… responsible of you. Maybe I'll do it too, next time I do laundry." His voice didn't quite sound like his own. It sounded too soft, too genuine, adding to the dreamlike quality of this whole encounter. He knew it had to be pushing on towards four in the morning.</p>
<p>Caleb frowned at the idea, and then down at his pile of lint, as if it had personally offended him. "It… It is not that dangerous. I'm being over cautious." He looked up at the ceiling. "There are sprinklers in every room too."</p>
<p>“Hey,” Molly said, placing his hand over the fuzz pile. Their fingers barely touched, but he could still feel the tremble from the smooth digits, warm from the proximity to the dryers. Not warm because of the fire inside him. Not that, because that didn’t make any sense. Even with this revelation. He cleared his head and tried to think straight, “I’m not doing anything that would inconvenience myself, just if I have time, I might. It’s kind of nice, to do something that makes this place feel a bit better, a bit safer.”</p>
<p>“Safer,” Caleb echoed, looking at Molly’s hand still clasped over his own. “I… Thank you, Mollymauk.”</p>
<p>He took his hand back, trying not to make Caleb uncomfortable. To be frank, he wasn’t sure what he was trying to do, but it wasn’t that. “You’re very welcome, Mr. Caleb,” he said, unsure if he was teasing him for being a teacher or just being respectful of this boy who seemed to be beyond his years. Being older than a year might help.</p>
<p>Eventually Caleb left and he was left alone with his thoughts while he prepared Yasha’s laundry and set timers on his phone to check it in about an hour. In the strange liminal space of this laundry room, Mollymauk wasn’t sure what time it was, or how exactly to act like a normal human being, even after he was no longer under scrutiny.</p>
<p>But he did know that the next time he did his laundry, he would probably check the lint traps.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for reading &lt;3&lt;3 Comments = serotonin</p>
<p>This story updates every Saturday!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Caleb: Universal Experiences</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Caleb's got friends. How did that happen? Why is everyone in college so fucking damaged? Is it always like this, or is the author projecting?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You want to come study again?” Percy asked Caleb, packing his books away after their shared Latin lecture. “We could finish up the homework back at our apartment.”</p>
<p>Caleb gave a small smile of condolence, “How much of this would be working and how much would be drinking and being sad?”</p>
<p>“A healthy amount of both,” Vax said with a grin, slinging an arm over Keyleth’s shoulders.</p>
<p>Keyleth rolled her eyes. “A lot more studying than drinking, if I have anything to say about it. You all can drink afterwards, when I have to go meet with someone from my theater class.”</p>
<p>“As fun as that sounds, I have to tutor someone in an hour. I’d have to turn right around and walk back to make it in time.” Caleb slipped his notebooks into his bag and zipped it up. He could at least be friendly enough to walk downstairs with them, especially since they were probably already worried that he was avoiding their company.</p>
<p>Maybe he was, after all the dead family talk last time, but that was beside the point. He did <em>like</em> these people, but he was busy. Caduceus was preparing for a math test next week, and the normally calm man had developed a small, anxious tremor in his hands that Caleb was hoping to calm with this next lesson. He was also getting a bit worried about the amount of caffeine the man consumed with all the tea he drank.</p>
<p>Not to mention that he really didn’t sleep much at all the night after his blissfully dreamless drunken sleep. Or the night after that.</p>
<p>Or after that.</p>
<p>There were no distracting purple figures these days, just flames.</p>
<p>So he said his farewells to his language class friend group and secluded himself in the library to finish up the homework on his own. The time passed quickly as he finished up the translation, helped Caduceus with his mathematics study guide, and eventually found himself flat on his back in his dorm room, feeling Frumpkin make biscuits on his stomach.</p>
<p>There was a routine here, and he was enjoying it quite a bit.</p>
<p>In a few hours he would leave the dorm and ask if Nott would like to accompany him for dinner. She would politely decline and he would steal her food from the cafeteria and try to sleep. Maybe his dreams would even be kind tonight.</p>
<p>Maybe he’d head up to the roof and see if there was anyone with distracting purple hair.</p>
<p>“Caleb? Are you doing anything right now?” Nott asked through the door, quiet enough to not disturb him if he was sleeping or listening to a documentary.</p>
<p>Caleb raised his head, looking at the purring lump on his chest. “That depends. Are you dying?”</p>
<p>“No, I want to go hang out in the lounge. Come with me. Socialize.”</p>
<p>“No thank you,” he said, petting a hand over Frumpkin and putting his head back down. It was sinful to disturb a cozy cat, not that he could voice his excuse.</p>
<p>“Pleeeeeease?”</p>
<p>“Nein, danke,” he said, unable to stop the twitch of a smile from gracing his face.</p>
<p>“Stop making me learn German.”</p>
<p>“Stop understanding cognates and answering me when I forget to speak English,” he said, smiling up at Frumpkin’s face. The cat stood to gently lick his nose and butt into his chin, almost bullying him into getting up too. “Why can you not go alone?”</p>
<p>“‘Cause I want to hang out with my amazing roommate? C’mon, Caleb, it’ll be fun!”</p>
<p>Very gently he kissed Frumpkin on the top of his fuzzy head, watching him carefully for a sign. It was given in the form of him yawning and curling up on Caleb’s pillow instead of his chest. Caleb owed it to Nott, despite knowing for a fact that he would probably have more fun reading alone with his cat.</p>
<p>“Caaaaleb, yes or no?”</p>
<p>“Alright, alright, I’m coming, but I’m bringing a book,” he said, grumbling a bit but without putting any heart into it. He really did like Nott, and the others on floor nine weren’t horrible either. Of course he was surprised to see someone else in the lounge as he and Nott walked in. Two other people, to be exact; people he didn’t know had any reason to spend time together.</p>
<p>“Hey, Caleb!” Keyleth said, grinning as she started packing up her notebook.</p>
<p>He gave a small wave as Mollymauk looked between them, brow furrowed. “You know Caleb?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, he’s in my Latin class with Percy and Vax.” She stuck a bookmark in a well worn copy of <em>Romeo and Juliet</em> and stood up. Guess Mollymauk was the one she shared a theater class with. Small world. “Did you finish your homework already?”</p>
<p>“Ja, I did it before I had my tutoring lesson,” Caleb said, still feeling a bit awkward but relaxing as Nott patted the place beside her on one of the couches. Mollymauk was still frowning at him, a worn copy of the same Shakespeare play in his hands. Perhaps Caleb would re-read that one next. It was a classic, and Caleb was already reading Macbeth with Grog for the next text in his literature class. He was enjoying the gory Scottish play much more than the awful Ernest Hemingway novel they’d had to read first.</p>
<p>“Percy might text you later. There was a sentence we all argued about, and you’d be the tie breaker since Vax abstained,” Keyleth rolled her eyes, despite knowing full well she was the reason Vax was taking Latin instead of Spanish or something more useful. Caleb hadn’t seen anyone so lovesick since he’d spent time with Wulf and Astrid.</p>
<p>“Ja, that’s fine,” he said, wondering which sentence it was instead of allowing himself a trip down memory lane. He wanted to sleep well tonight, and that was not the way to do it. All the translations had seemed rather straightforward to him, and he didn’t mind Percy’s formal style of texting. It was precise and careful, and didn’t overwhelm his small flip phone.</p>
<p>Mollymauk sat up a little straighter. “Wait, wait, how are you guys in the same class? I thought you were only taking a lower level theater class? Aren’t you a junior? A junior in like all fancy smart classes?”</p>
<p>“Caleb’s very smart,” Nott said with a solemn nod.</p>
<p>Caleb flushed gently but before he could say anything, Keyleth patted him on the shoulder, not seeming to recognize the awkwardness. “He is very smart. Anyways, see you all later!”</p>
<p>He was saved from further embarrassment by Jester and Beau walking in, both arguing about what movie they should watch this evening.</p>
<p>Beau grumbled, “It’s like November second, you can’t just start watching Christmas movies already, what about Thanksgiving?”</p>
<p>Jester shook her head wildly, “And what does Thanksgiving stand for? The genocide of Native Americans being swept under the rug? Why shouldn’t I ignore it? I can eat turkey and potatoes with my mama whenever I want. Well, I mean, I used to-”</p>
<p>“Look, I’m not to say Thanksgiving is important for the sanctity of family or American tradition because that’s clearly bullshit, but it does a good job of holding the line between Christmas getting out of hand. Not everyone believes in that shit anyways! Thanksgiving can stay so long as the fucking Christmas music can stay in December where it belongs.” Beau threw herself in one of the strange armchairs to make her point, sitting with her legs splayed across a table dramatically.</p>
<p>Jester rolled her eyes, “Well, they should replace it with a better holiday. One with equally as cheerful music and gift giving, then everyone wouldn’t mind waiting.”</p>
<p>“You know they <em>won’t</em> though, and holiday music always sucks! Unless it’s, like, Halloween music, maybe.”</p>
<p>“You just like the excuse to play your screaming songs-”</p>
<p>“My Chemical Romance isn’t just screaming-”</p>
<p>“Ladies, ladies, please,” Molly said, allowing both of them to turn to him in a huff, all anger towards each other evaporating. Beau’s transferred right to Molly, and Jester relaxed again immediately, clearly not actually upset at all. “How about you both say what movie you want to watch and then we all put it to a vote?”</p>
<p>“That’s a great idea, Molly!” Jester said, grinning and falling into the seat where Yasha had been sitting. “I wanna watch <em>Elf!”</em></p>
<p>“I wanted to watch <em>National Treasure</em> so we could all laugh at it and maybe watch stuff blow up. I don’t actually remember what happens in that movie,” Beau said.</p>
<p>Molly nodded sagely. “Perfect, perfect. I vote for <em>Elf.”</em> Jester squealed happily and clapped her hands together.</p>
<p>Nott frowned darkly over at him. “I pick <em>National Treasure.</em> November is too early for Christmas movies no matter what, and heist movies outrank Christmas movies always, even if they’re really shitty heist movies. Sorry, Jester.”</p>
<p>Expecting this from the moment Mollymauk took over, Caleb was already a few pages into his book and very pointedly ignoring all the people staring at him.</p>
<p>“Caaaaaaleb,” Jester said, leaning too close and drawing it out far too long. “You’re the tie breaker!”</p>
<p>“I abstain,” he said, flipping the page and causing a chorus of groans. There was probably a smirk on his face. This was ridiculous, but not unenjoyable.</p>
<p>Before they could hound him for an answer, Fjord walked through the door, “Hey, guys, Caduceus made this lasagna and told me to eat it before he left for work, but it’s a whole goddamn lasagna, do any of you want some? Why are you all staring at me?”</p>
<p>He was a bit of a sight, carrying a large tray of lasagna and some paper bowls and plastic cutlery. But that certainly was why more than half the room stared at him like they were stalking their prey.</p>
<p>Jester launched right in, “Be the tie breaker for us, Fjord! Beau says we can’t watch Christmas movies, but she’s totally wrong, so vote for my movie-”</p>
<p>Beau cut her off, “Whoa, whoa, I said it’s too early for Christmas movies, not that we can’t watch your dumb elf movie next month-”</p>
<p>“It’s <em>National Treasure</em> verses <em>Elf</em> and there’s only one right answer, go!” Molly said, grinning from ear to ear.</p>
<p>“If you pick wrong we’re kicking you and your lasagna out!” Nott said, glaring at him.</p>
<p>Fjord looked from face to face in the room, clearly completely baffled. “I-What? Why are you- What?”</p>
<p>“It’s very simple Fjord. Pick a movie. If you pick wrong everyone will be mad at you and you’ll have to go eat that whole lasagna and be sad alone in your room,” Jester said, seriously enough that Caleb wasn’t even sure what the joke was anymore.</p>
<p>He took a second too long to answer and everyone launched back into their explanations, with Beau grumbling about the horrible holiday music and Jester reexplaining genocide, all while Nott explained her opinions about heist movies. Each girl seemed to be talking louder and louder to speak over the other. </p>
<p>Caleb spared a look up just to see the mortified expression on Fjord’s face and the pleased but wicked gleam in Molly’s eye.</p>
<p>Both were as satisfying as he expected.</p>
<p><em>“Die Hard,”</em> Fjord finally said, eyes still wide while he held his lasagna. “Let’s watch <em>Die Hard.</em> It’s set during Christmas, but it’s not really a Christmas movie, and it’s enough of a heist movie to be pretty enjoyable.”</p>
<p>All the girls making their impassioned speeches deflated a bit. Jester said, “That’s a pretty good idea. I spose we could just watch <em>Elf</em> later, closer to Christmas.”</p>
<p>“I’m down for <em>Die Hard,”</em> Beau said, nodding appreciatively towards Fjord.</p>
<p>The man in question looked like he’d just successfully diffused a bomb, sinking into a chair and putting the lasagna down on the coffee table. “Please eat lasagna and don’t ask me any other questions that will make people mad at me.”</p>
<p>Jester laughed and started serving out the food, chattering cheerfully while Nott darted off to get a good pirated version of <em>Die Hard</em> for them to watch.</p>
<p>Caleb took his piece and Molly took two, wanting to save one for Yasha.</p>
<p>“Where <em>is</em> your roommate, Tealeaf?” Beau asked, sending an unearned glare his way.</p>
<p>He snorted, “Wouldn’t you like to know, unpleasant one?”</p>
<p>“That’s why I asked, obnoxious one,” she said, still glaring.</p>
<p>Molly just rolled his eyes, “She’s out doing her own thing. She does that. She’s not clingy, unlike some people.”</p>
<p>Beau scoffed, pointedly ignoring him at that point.</p>
<p>Caleb almost chuckled, but a small, calculating part of his mind was connecting some dots that probably weren’t there. Perhaps Mollymauk was interested in being his friend precisely because Caleb wasn’t particularly interested in being anyone’s friend. If he liked flighty people who might abandon him at the drop of a hat…</p>
<p>Well. It sounded like he’d fallen in with the right crowd.</p>
<p>Caleb really wasn’t expecting everyone at school to seem so… broken. Beauregard hadn’t been very subtle about her various family issues, despite trying to hide them in the beginning. Fjord seemed just as nervous as Caleb at times, which was not a good thing. Jester was putting together an almost painful façade of eternal happiness that Caleb was terrified would shatter at any moment. Caduceus took far better care of those around him than he ever did himself. Yasha… Yasha seemed far too much like Caleb for comfort. Nott, as much as he enjoyed her, had quite the drinking problem, and seemed terrified of just about everything. Mollymauk was harder to pin down with his lies and veils, but Caleb had never met a healthy person with insomnia as bad as his own. From what he’d heard, Percy’s friends were all the same too.</p>
<p>Were all colleges like this? Was the universal college experience just to go away from wherever you’d come from and attempt to deal with your trauma in a new place with other traumatized people?</p>
<p>Who thought this was a good idea?</p>
<p>He couldn’t fathom it.</p>
<p>It was still on his mind, even after the movie ended and they found their way back to their dorms.</p>
<p>“Caleb?” Nott said softly, splayed over their armchair with her flask sitting in front of her on the coffee table.</p>
<p>He could almost smell the whiskey, even though he was in their little kitchenette, putting away the leftover lasagna Fjord insisted they take. They probably were the two most underfed of the bunch, even after all the regular meals. “Ja?”</p>
<p>“If… If I asked for your help with something, do you think you’d help me?” she said, about as cryptic as could be.</p>
<p>He sank into the couch. “I would try my best,” he said, surprised at how honest he was being. He liked Nott, and she’d been kind to him. She deserved whatever she could get in return for being so kind to someone so despicable.</p>
<p>“Thank you,” she said, almost too quietly for him to hear. Another sip went down. “I don’t… I’m not ready to talk about it yet.”</p>
<p>He nodded even though he was unsure she could see from where her eyes were fixed, glassy and unseeing on the ceiling. “I do not mind. You know that.”</p>
<p>And she did. They’d had almost an unspoken rule, not to be those annoying freshmen who ask all the questions in the world about people’s personal lives. It was clear that neither of them wanted to talk about it. </p>
<p>“Do you like Mollymauk?” she asked after a long pause.</p>
<p>Caleb sat up a bit from where he’d slouched into the couch. He had the urge to take the flask of whiskey off the coffee table. “Like is a strong word. He’s in my history class.”</p>
<p>“He stares at you sometimes, when you’re not looking.”</p>
<p>Caleb frowned at her. He was oblivious to most intricacies of human nature like that, but he was still surprised that Mollymauk was so good at hiding it. “Ja?”</p>
<p>“Should I be worried about that?” she asked, still staring up at the ceiling.</p>
<p>He took a deep breath before reaching forward to grab the flask. It was revolting, probably the cheapest thing Nott could find. “I think… I think you should not worry about me.”</p>
<p>Nott nodded minutely. “But are you worried?”</p>
<p>“I do not know what to think. He talks to me, on the roof when I cannot sleep,” he said softly. “I do not know why.”</p>
<p>“I think I know why.”</p>
<p>Caleb turned over to her. “And?”</p>
<p>She turned over to look at him, eyes warm and brown despite being a little bloodshot. “Sometimes I look at the boy I have a crush on, when he isn’t looking. I’m very sneaky.”</p>
<p>He couldn’t stop the little snort that left his lips. As if Mollymauk could ever look at him like that. Beauty and flamboyance personified, when Caleb knew how he looked in the mirror. He was still gaunt and sallow, not to mention scarred to hell and back. “No one looks at me like that.”</p>
<p>“You’re very handsome, Caleb,” Nott said, a frown in her tone.</p>
<p>Just shaking his head he ignored her words. Perhaps once he was, long ago, back when he was full of life and spirit.</p>
<p>No one should look at something so broken.</p>
<p>“Well, if you want him to stop looking at you, just let me know.”</p>
<p>“I will keep you in the loop,” he said, trying to push down some of the negative thoughts. He didn’t have time to wallow, and wallowing definitely wouldn’t promote good sleep.</p>
<p>She nodded. “I don’t think he’s <em>all</em> bad. All bark and no bite, really.”</p>
<p>“It wouldn’t surprise me if there was some bite behind it all.” Caleb could imagine Mollymauk sticking up for his friends, fulfilling promises with fists as well as words. He didn’t seem like someone to roll over.</p>
<p>Nott frowned, “Has he been bothering you?”</p>
<p>“Nein. We just talk. I think we both have insomnia.” As annoyed as he acted around Mollymauk, he was grounding in a way Caleb wasn’t used to. A flurry of color and sound and smiles designed to distract and obscure. It might have been bothersome if Caleb wanted something concrete or truthful from him, but he really didn’t care.</p>
<p>“Well,” she said, sitting up and closing her flask. “I just thought you should know.”</p>
<p>“Danke, Nott.”</p>
<p>“Go to sleep, Caleb.”</p>
<p>“Same to you, my friend.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thank you for reading!! apologies for another late chapter; definitely not a great mental health day lmao. time to project all those feelings onto these poor bastards!</p>
<p>this story updates every saturday (or at least early sunday morning....)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. AN: No chapter today</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Chapter to explain why there's no chapter tonight.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hello all.</p><p>I'm not posting a chapter today since I went to a funeral for one of my friends and am feeling incredibly drained. I should be back to it next week. It was all very cathartic but I'm too mentally exhausted to get this one out in time. Thank you to everyone who's following the story, and I'll see you next week &lt;3</p><p>A.B.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Molly: Gilmore's Glorious Goods</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Molly has insomnia. The author is projecting on everyone. What else is new?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Molly hadn’t dreamed of Caleb, or the beautiful, terrifying fires that surrounded him in weeks.</p>
<p>He hadn’t dreamed of anything but his accident, surrounded by hazy memories that he wanted nothing to do with.</p>
<p>Along with trying to quit the fucking cigarettes, he was turning into a wreck. Well. More of a wreck than usual, which was saying something for walking disaster, Mollymauk Tealeaf. He needed to get a fake ID and someone to go out to bars with so he could try some vices that didn’t smell like his past. Stale cigarette smoke only reminded him of Lucien’s bland wardrobe.</p>
<p>All he wanted was to be able to relax.</p>
<p>It was freezing on the roof tonight and Molly was wrapped up in a scarf and a coat that wasn’t nearly made for weather in Rexxentrum. It was made for hazy west coast days of fog and gloom, not the circle around the moon Yasha told him meant snow.</p>
<p>But he couldn’t sleep, didn’t <em>want</em> to sleep, and he didn’t want to wake Yasha.</p>
<p>And to be fair, he really wanted to smoke.</p>
<p>So he was shivering on the roof, blinking in surprise when the door opened.</p>
<p>“Hallo,” Caleb’s soft voice came over the wind, promising a distraction, some stimuli, something tangible.</p>
<p>Molly could have hugged him. “Hi there. What brings you out at this ungodly hour?”</p>
<p>“I assume what brought you up here,” Caleb mumbled, sitting beside him. He was wearing even less than Molly, just in a cardigan and slippers over his threadbare pajamas.</p>
<p>Molly resisted the urge to lean up against him but still moved a little closer after crushing the butt of his cigarette into the pavement and flicking it into the trash can. He said, “Can’t sleep? Worried about awful dreams? General anxiety and/or other mental health issues? Needing a fucking smoke break?” </p>
<p>Though Molly wasn’t looking directly at him, he could hear the roll of Caleb’s eyes in his voice. “Not the last one, at least. The rest,” he sighed, “I suppose that’s not inaccurate.”</p>
<p>“Well, welcome to the party. No snacks, but good company.”</p>
<p>Caleb said, “Ah, yes the company. That’s why I come up here.”</p>
<p>Molly attempted to analyze Caleb’s deadpan tone. “You know, I can’t actually tell if you’re joking.”</p>
<p>“This late in the evening, or rather early in the morning, neither can I.” He pulled his cardigan tighter around him then closed his hands around the freezing metal of the railing.</p>
<p>“I suppose I’ll take it as a compliment then,” Molly said, shivering just looking at Caleb.</p>
<p>The corner of the redhead’s lips quirked up. “You’re not exactly built for this weather.”</p>
<p>Molly pulled his scarf further up around his neck. The scarf was a mottled handmade monstrosity from Gustav and Desmond’s friend Orna that had arrived along with Desmond’s cookies, Gustav’s practical gift of thick winter socks, and a new CD that they’d helped Toya record which they hoped would help Molly sleep.</p>
<p>The CD didn’t help much with sleeping, but it did help with some of his homesickness, and the scarf was multicolored and lumpy and effectively the perfect thing to tide him over before he could go home for winter break. He didn’t </p>
<p>“And you’re perfectly comfortable in your slippers?” he asked, watching Caleb’s unfairly attractive smirk out of the corner of his eye. It was much more welcoming than the cold looking city.</p>
<p>Caleb shook his head. “For me, the cold is grounding. But you look like you might freeze. You’re from California, ja?”</p>
<p>“Ja, ja,” he said, copying Caleb’s accent.</p>
<p>Caleb turned, blinking owlishly. “Oh. That’s cute.” Luckily then Caleb looked down, missing the wide grin and light flush in Molly’s cheeks as he rubbed at the material of Molly’s coat. “This will not keep you warm for long. It’s not built for the snow.”</p>
<p>“Isn’t it not supposed to snow until like December?”</p>
<p>“The winters here are much harsher than California,” Caleb chuckled.</p>
<p>Molly frowned, sinking further down into his scarf. “I’ve never been through anything as cold as this.”</p>
<p>“It only gets worse,” he said, pulling away from Molly’s coat. “You should take Jester shopping with you.”</p>
<p>That was a pretty good idea. The blue haired girl seemed like she’d be quite a bit of fun set loose on the city with the mission of finding Molly a gaudy winter coat. “You’re quite smart, you know, Mr. Caleb,” Molly said, lightly bumping into Caleb’s shoulder with his own.</p>
<p>“I’ve been told,” Caleb shrugged. “Avoiding frostbite doesn’t really take a genius though.”</p>
<p>“Guess I’m just that big a dumbass,” Molly said, repressing a small shiver and sinking even further into his scarf.</p>
<p>Raising a brow, Caleb asked, “Maybe you should go sit in the lounge?” </p>
<p>Shaking his head, Molly shot him a grin, “Who else would keep you company?”</p>
<p>“If you don’t want to be alone, I could go down with you.” Caleb frowned at him, actually looking concerned. </p>
<p>Now that was unexpected. “But aren’t you out here for yourself?”</p>
<p>“It’s easier to focus on someone else’s problems than your own, ja?” Caleb shrugged. “You’re cold. We could fix that.”</p>
<p>“I guess. It’d be nice if going inside could fix insomnia,” Molly mumbled, rubbing at his eyes.</p>
<p>Caleb smiled knowingly but stood up and extended a hand to pull Molly to his feet. His hand was slender and freckled, but calloused from holding a pen too tightly. It was warm, despite the cold they’d both been sitting in, and Molly very much didn’t want to let go.</p>
<p>For a few seconds, he didn’t, until Caleb moved to the door and he convinced himself to follow.</p>
<p>They were quiet, in the lounge.</p>
<p>Floor nine felt like a different dimension after a certain time at night. Like some sort of liminal space, it seemed to float in its own reality, away from anything that could be considered normal.</p>
<p>He and Caleb floated there together, sprawled across the too stiff couch.</p>
<p>So it didn’t quite feel real when the warm pillow he was leaning on gently tapped him on the knee.</p>
<p>When had his eyes closed?</p>
<p>How late was it?</p>
<p>“It’s twenty three minutes past four.”</p>
<p>Did he ask that out loud?</p>
<p>“Yes. I think it’s time for you to go back to bed, Mr. Mollymauk.”</p>
<p>“But it’s warm here,” Molly mumbled.</p>
<p>“I think you’ll find your bed nicer than this couch and my shoulder.”</p>
<p>That woke him up.</p>
<p>Molly had somehow slipped down to be lying on Caleb’s shoulder. And Caleb wasn’t shoving him off.</p>
<p>“Fuck, I’m sorry,” he blinked, rubbing his eyes and sitting up. “Of all the times for sleep to catch up on me, huh?”</p>
<p>Caleb just shrugged. “No harm done. You should go sleep while you’re still tired. I’ll probably try to do the same.”</p>
<p>Molly followed and tried not to stumble on the way, “Best of luck to you.”</p>
<p>“I’ll need it,” he said, that unfairly attractive smirk back on his face.</p>
<p>Sighing softly, Molly collapsed into his bed that was sadly devoid of cute redheads and fell fast asleep.</p>
<p>He woke up midway through the day, still with plenty of time to get ready for his shift at Gilmore’s Glorious Goods. The walk to and from the restaurant was indeed far too cold, so he texted Jester to make plans to go shopping for some warmer clothes.</p>
<p>His shift was boring and devoid of most entertaining forms of life. At least he was able to snack the whole time. Opesa and Soren were experimenting in the kitchen and he was consistently presented with new dishes to sample for specials on the menu. It wasn’t exactly titillating conversation, but it was something.</p>
<p>For a while he was able to chat with Gilmore, but eventually that boy Keyleth liked came in, and he lost Gilmore’s attention. Not like he could blame him, the black haired boy was definitely cute. </p>
<p>But he could be bored. </p>
<p>And even more bored when he walked back into his room after his shift and found Yasha with her nose deep in a textbook.</p>
<p>“Yash?”</p>
<p>“Yeah?”</p>
<p>“Take a walk with me? I’m going out of my mind with boredom.”</p>
<p>“Where to?”</p>
<p>“I dunno. Aren’t there botanical gardens?”</p>
<p>“We have to pay to go in,” she said, frowning a bit.</p>
<p>Molly shook his head, “Nah, there’s some places you can go with your school ID for free. Not like, everything, but most of it. Even though stuff is dying since it’s getting fucking freezing out.”</p>
<p>“I have practice in two hours,” she said, sitting up from her book. “As long as we’re back before then, it should be okay.”</p>
<p>He nodded quickly, “Of course! We can set a timer and everything so you’re not late.”</p>
<p>She smiled softly at him and pulled on her varsity jacket with “NYDOORIN” printed across the back and her tall black boots as an answer.</p>
<p>Molly grinned and set the alarm on his phone, then put on his own thigh high boots and coat. He layered two different sweaters under his favorite red jacket since he didn’t have anything better yet. He was all bundled up with his thick scarf from Orna and a beanie with little devil horns.</p>
<p>“Ready?” he asked, pleased when she let him hook their arms together.</p>
<p>The walk was slow and meandering, with her pointing out the different plants she knew and stopping to take pictures of the ones she didn’t know to look up on her laptop later.</p>
<p>“I think Caduceus was talking about an app that identifies flowers from pictures,” Molly said.</p>
<p>She looked up from the leaf she was examining. “Really?”</p>
<p>He nodded. Molly had listened to the tall man talk about it for the better part of an hour, mostly just because he liked the deep rumbling of his voice. “I can try to find it for you?”</p>
<p>Yasha handed him her phone and soon they had the app up and running to help them figure out what on earth they were looking at. It helped since most of the flowering plants had lost all their flowers, but still had greenery. They made note of the ones they’d have to visit together in the spring, and it felt nice to have some sort of plan for the future for once.</p>
<p>As much as Molly liked to live in the moment, a future with Yasha at his side sounded like a good one.</p>
<p>When Yasha had to go to practice, Molly ended up in the communal lounge at the end of the hall. More people had started to gather there as the year went on, and if he was lucky he would have some company, at least most nights when he couldn’t occupy himself with work.</p>
<p>And luckily the room was almost full when he walked in.</p>
<p>Jester was teaching Nott a card game on the floor, and Caleb was going over what sounded like some math homework with Fjord on one of the couches in the back. Beau was busy at practice with Yasha, and Caduceus and Pike were likely working, but this was a good little group for the evening.</p>
<p>Molly joined in with Jester and Nott’s card game and played until Jester was yawning and dragging Nott away to eat some of the pastries she insisted upon sharing.</p>
<p>Checking his phone, Molly realized how late it was.</p>
<p>And how he was now alone in the lounge with Caleb.</p>
<p>“Where’d Fjord go?” Molly asked.</p>
<p>Looking up from his book like he didn’t realize there was anyone else in the room, Caleb blinked and said, “He had a late dinner date with some girl from his scholarship program.”</p>
<p>Molly nodded, “Right. Dinner. Did you eat?”</p>
<p>“I’m not hungry.”</p>
<p>“I don’t think so.”</p>
<p>“Really? And what do you think?” Caleb sat up to look directly in his eyes with a piercing expression that was closer to a glare than anything friendly.</p>
<p>Molly shrugged, “To be perfectly honest,” and for once he was, “I think sometimes you punish yourself by not eating.” He’d seen Caleb do similar things. It seemed like he was punishing himself for a lot of things, whenever Molly thought about it. He didn't let Jester dote on him like she did with others. He deflected compliments from everyone, especially Nott. He didn’t allow himself to get too comfortable with anything, or too close to anyone, unless it was late enough to make bad decisions.</p>
<p>Luckily, Molly was usually up late, and it was getting to be rather late now too.</p>
<p>“I missed the hours to eat in the dining hall and I don’t have the money for takeout. It’s not that deep, my friend.” Caleb fell backwards against the couch again, scrawling out another note on biology or chemistry or whatever massive textbook rested against his knees. Molly was pretty sure he heard his stomach growl even as he did.</p>
<p>Molly frowned into his phone for a minute, deciding not to push on the “friend” part of that statement. “Go out with me.”</p>
<p>“Excuse me?” Caleb asked, the tips of his ears tinged pink and the pencil in his hand now rolling across the lounge. </p>
<p>Molly thanked whatever deity might exist for his darker tan skin and rolled his eyes. “Not like that. Go out with me, now. For food. As friends. I mean if you want to go kick out your roommate and bone, I’d be more than happy to, but I don’t think that’ll solve your hunger problem. Also I’m pretty sure Nott already hates me.”</p>
<p>“I can’t afford it. Not just the delivery fee.” Caleb looked after his pencil, now rolling slowly across the cracked linoleum.</p>
<p>“I’m offering.”</p>
<p>“No, thank you.”</p>
<p>“You can steal shit for me tomorrow from the cafeteria when we go to history class. I never get up early enough and you can just smuggle me out a coffee and a danish or something. As payment.”</p>
<p>Caleb cocked a brow, abandoning staring at his pencil that had now come to rest in a small divot in the middle of the room. It was a good offer. Molly would get to sleep in but still have breakfast, and Caleb could use the swipes he got from his scholarship for payment for dinner tonight. Molly knew that as well as Caleb, and he could see the logic working on him.</p>
<p>He just needed to push him in the right direction. So he stood up, threw on his coat and grabbed Caleb’s pencil. “C’mon. I’ll take you to where I work. We’ll get a discount and everything. I’d usually spend more on Starbucks after class anyways.” He held out the pencil as if it wasn’t really there. As if he was going to hold Caleb’s hand again. But as it stood, it was an olive branch.</p>
<p>Just staring at the pencil, Caleb stayed silent a moment too long.</p>
<p>But Molly wasn’t going to take no for an answer, not when Caleb’s stomach growled again. “Meet me downstairs in five minutes,” he said, sticking the pencil behind Caleb’s ear after a moment of hesitation.</p>
<p>His hair was soft, and Molly was lost in thoughts of running his fingers through it more fully. Maybe someday he’d let him style it. Yasha seemed open to the idea of him braiding her hair. He could only hope the other person he was interested in getting to know better would be as receptive. But he couldn’t be too worried about all that, just slipping back into his dorm for a moment to grab a different pair of shoes and the rest of his warmer clothes. Ballet flats were comfortable, but he didn’t want to freeze.</p>
<p>This way, Caleb could get a coat, or ditch him if he was really uncomfortable. It would work, even if it probably would have been better to drag Caleb along, given the choice. And instead of waiting awkwardly for Caleb to make up his mind, he could go sit outside and grab a cigarette instead.</p>
<p>Maybe it’d be the last. He was running out anyways, and buying more felt like admitting defeat.</p>
<p>By the time he was done, Caleb had shuffled downstairs to join him, bundled in what looked like ten different layers and wrapped in a scarf that was probably twice as long as Molly was tall.</p>
<p>“You look cozy.”</p>
<p>“ Sometimes I like to be warm.”</p>
<p>Molly just shrugged and turned to crush his cigarette into the ashtray on top of the trash can. “Let’s go.”</p>
<p>The walk was quick, and Molly was happy to see Taryon behind the counter. Gilmore could be a lot to take in at first, and Caleb might have bolted at the sight of less.</p>
<p>“Hey, Tary,” Molly said, clapping him on the shoulder as he grabbed a menu from behind the host stand and went to mark and seat himself.</p>
<p>Tary grinned, “Welcome, welcome, Mollymauk and friend of Mollymauk.”</p>
<p>“Caleb,” he corrected quietly, though he didn’t bother to point out that he still usually insisted he and Molly weren’t friends. Maybe falling asleep on Caleb was enough to drift across the line from classmates into friends.</p>
<p>Molly would take that as a win, leaning over as they slid into his favorite booth in the back and whispering, “He’s terrible with names, don’t take it personally.”</p>
<p>He just nodded, “We drank together in his apartment for hours last week. And he’s in my Greek lectures.”</p>
<p>Rolling his eyes, Molly nodded, “That does sound like Tary for you.”</p>
<p>He frowned, taking the offered menu and frowning at the dishes. “I don’t… I’m not sure I’m very familiar with this cuisine.”</p>
<p>“Well, pretty much everything is good. I always get the empanadas though,” Molly said, pointing across the table to where they were listed on the menu.</p>
<p>Caleb blinked, but eventually followed his advice, ordering the shredded chicken ones while Molly got the rice and beans, and the veggie ones. He’d share, especially since he’d already snacked so much earlier on his shift, but he really did want to make sure Caleb was eating enough.</p>
<p>Probably because the kid was skin and bones as it was, but it might have also had something to with Molly’s dreams. His weirdly vivid dreams that had no real explanation.</p>
<p>When Tary had taken their menus and there was no longer anything between them, Molly realized that sitting across from Caleb in a restaurant booth felt a lot different then sitting side by side on the roof.</p>
<p>He could see Caleb’s bright blue eyes and soft red hair and all his freckles, and he could feel their legs bump together under the table as they tried to get comfortable. It was awkward and strange, and not at all what he expected.</p>
<p>Not to mention he was at a complete loss for words.</p>
<p>It would be a while before their food came out, even with the restaurant being empty, and Caleb was looking at him like he might look at a textbook, analytical and intense.</p>
<p>Molly swallowed and pulled out his deck. “Ever had your cards read?”</p>
<p>That unfairly attractive smirk was much worse when viewed full on. Caleb could probably kill a man with that look. “Nein. Impress me, circus man.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm back! Thank you all for your lovely messages and for reading &lt;3</p>
<p>This story updates every Saturday!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Caleb: Escape</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Things are going well for Caleb. That's probably a bad sign, right? No good thing can last forever.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gilmore’s Glorious Goods was a very nice restaurant, not the kind Caleb usually found himself in. Everything was extravagant and draped in purple. The booth Caleb and Molly found themselves in had a small bouquet of fresh lavender, and Taryon had finally recognized Caleb and apologized sheepishly for the oversight. Now that they’d ordered, an awkward silence had risen between the two of them.</p><p>Mollymauk stopped fiddling with the hem of his coat sleeve and pulled out a deck of intricate tarot cards. “Ever had your cards read?”</p><p>“Nein,” he said, thinking about his last dream of Mollymauk as the peculiar purple figure, “Impress me, circus man.” His subconscious was too good to predict the tarot cards.</p><p>“What kind of a spread do you want?” Molly asked after a quick chuckle, flipping the cards through his fingers with practiced ease.</p><p>Caleb blinked, staring at the shuffling deck, grateful for something to look at other than those deep brown eyes. They were almost unsettling, too warm and too kind. He shouldn’t have accepted Molly’s offer to buy him food, even if he would repay him. It wasn’t good to owe people favors, not even for a few hours.</p><p>But he was here now, and he’d agreed to have his tarot cards read, to fill an awkward silence. That didn’t mean he had any idea what Molly was doing. And it really only brought up the strange memory of the dream he’d had about tarot cards, featuring a too familiar purple figure. His dreams never made sense, but the fact that Molly really did use tarot cards was more unsettling than his gaze. That all was too much to unpack right now, so Caleb just said, “I have no idea what that means.”</p><p>“Well, I could do something fancy, or we could just do something simple. Usually if people don’t have a certain question, I just do three. Do you have a specific question?” he asked.</p><p>Caleb shook his head. “I don’t really believe in it to begin with. No sense in guidance that won’t matter.”</p><p>Molly rolled his eyes. “Fine, fine. So we’ll pull for your past, present, and future. So three cards.”</p><p>Caleb nodded and Molly shuffled the cards a few times, definitely showing off. Not that he wasn’t quite talented with his hands, but it was getting late in the evening and Caleb hardly cared. “Why don’t you pull them? I’m always too tempted to cheat,” Molly grinned and passed over the deck.</p><p>“Really?” Caleb asked, frowning at the cards in his hands.</p><p>Molly nodded, “Just don’t bend any. Pull whatever cards feel right, and place them here, one, two, three.” He pointed to spots on the table.</p><p>Caleb almost pulled out the first three from the deck before Molly stopped him. “Hey, hey, even if you don’t believe, you can’t half ass it. How else am I supposed to impress you?” he said, still grinning. “Shuffle them properly,” he instructed, his hands guiding Caleb’s for a moment.</p><p>They were far too warm, and Caleb was reminded of how warm Mollymauk had been when he’d fallen asleep on Caleb’s shoulder the night before, despite claiming to be freezing on the roof. He was a veritable furnace.</p><p>But Caleb was too busy being relieved that the dream Mollymauk had been holding different, handmade looking cards. No real meaning behind it, just a coincidence.</p><p>He shuffled them to Molly’s standards, and placed three cards, face down, on the table.</p><p>Molly flipped over the first card. It was a man struggling to carry a large load of staffs. “This one is the Ten of Wands. So, it means in your past, you suffered greatly, carrying some kind of burden. At least that bit is over with, right?” Molly said with a sheepish smile, quickly moving to the next card.</p><p>“Now, the present,” Molly murmured, flipping over the next one. A figure, weeping in a bed, with nine swords hanging above their head in some kind of ornamental display. “The Nine of Swords. You’re carrying some kind of guilt from something in your past. It’s weighing on you a lot, and you should probably take some time to deal with it.”</p><p>Caleb was silent. He didn’t believe in the cards, not really. And he was quite good at hiding when he was uncomfortable. None of his old therapists, or the new counselor, Vilya, were good at reading him, so there was no reason for Mollymauk to be.</p><p>There was no need for Molly to know anything about his past. The fact that Molly knew he didn’t like fire and smoke was likely already too much.</p><p>“Right,” Molly said to Caleb’s lack of a reaction, flipping over the last card. He sighed softly and his shoulders relaxed a bit. A woman kneeling by a pool of water, holding two jugs under a starry sky. "Oh, cool, I love this one. The Star. It's all about hope. Contentment, calm, healing, all that good stuff. It's a good one to have in the future."</p><p>Well, that was a good way to know the cards were really bullshit. “So it’s all looking up from here?” Caleb asked, unable to keep the disbelieving smile from his face.</p><p>Molly rolled his eyes, “Not necessarily. But it does look better than how the past went, if that makes sense. You’re on the right path, hanging out with the right people, that kind of thing. Whatever you’re doing, keep it up.”</p><p>That wasn’t something he really wanted to think about.</p><p>Caleb let his hands flip through the deck just to keep from any nervous tics, and landed on the one from his dream. The Moon.</p><p>“What does this one mean?” he asked before he could stop himself.</p><p>Taking the card carefully Molly nodded, “The Moon, that’s a deceptively sad one.”</p><p>The dream sounded in his mind, perfect in its clarity with Caleb’s memory.</p><p>
  <em>Number eighteen, the Moon.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Illusion, fear, anxiety, subconscious, intuition,” they whispered, flipping the card around in their fingers until it showed a different image.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Number one, the Magician.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Manifestation, resourcefulness, inspired action, power,” the figure whispered, turning the card around twice until Caleb was staring into a mirror.</em>
</p><p>“It’s all about anxiety and fear, and pushing things away into your subconscious so you don’t have to deal with them. Like bad memories and stuff.” Molly was looking at the card like it had personally insulted him. “I pull that one all the time. Upside down, it can mean insomnia and weird dreams too.”</p><p>Caleb flipped the card in his hands over, watching the Magician turn upside down. “They mean different things reversed?”</p><p>“Yeah, they have opposites. I’ve always wanted to make my own deck, with the cards split down the middle.” Molly went on musing, staring at the card in his hands.</p><p>“What about this one?” He showed Mollymauk the Magician.</p><p>Molly smiled, “That’s a good one for you, I think. It’s about resourcefulness, power, achieving whatever you set your mind to.”</p><p>“And reversed?” Caleb asked, flipping the card in his fingers so the staff the magician wielded pointed dramatically to the ground.</p><p>“Manipulation, mostly. Unused talents, bad plans.” Molly shrugged. “The opposite of having everything at your fingertips and being able to achieve what you want.”</p><p>Caleb repressed a shudder at the perfect memory of the dream, at how many times he’d been manipulated, at this whole conversation.</p><p>A good card for him indeed.</p><p>Luckily, Tary brought out their food then, and Molly insisted they share everything. Conversation switched to how Caleb enjoyed the food, which was admittedly, very good, and then the namesake of the shop came out to chat. Gilmore was a touch too flirtatious for Caleb’s taste, if only for keeping his cheeks flushed pink the rest of the evening. He did hang out with Vax and Mollymauk regularly enough to be used to it.</p><p>Maybe this really was the right path to be on.</p><p>Or maybe he was getting too comfortable, too complacent here.</p><p>Especially when Molly touched his arm while they were talking, laughing, and not caring about how loud they were in the empty restaurant.</p><p>He didn’t deserve this comfort, this closeness with the friends he had here, this warmth.</p><p>He didn’t deserve for Molly to catch him around the waist when he tripped over a crack in the sidewalk as they were walking back, keeping him from falling and making sure he made it back to his dorm unscathed.</p><p>He didn’t deserve how Nott asked how his night went, and really cared about the answer, or how Jester beamed up at just the sight of him walking into his own dorm.</p><p>He didn’t deserve it at all, but with Frumpkin purring on his chest, and his stomach full of empanadas, he was too tired to really care.</p><p>
  <em>Caleb, tonight, was a cat.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>His eyes could see in the dark forest as he ran through the winding trees, small paws padding through the undergrowth. Unlike Frumpkin, he wasn’t scraggly. There were no seasons of hunger evident in his sleek coat. He was a purebred Bengal cat, if the rippling reflection in the stream he ran beside was any indication.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>This familiar dreamscape swirled around him, a whirlwind of color with the deep orange light of golden hour cascading through the trees.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And through the branches, he could see his prey.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A male peacock strutted through this forest, proud and cocky, and he was on the prowl. Whipping through the shadows, he was the perfect hunter, lithe and ready to pounce.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But as he jumped, the peacock turned, startled, and he was scooped up instead in scarred, purple arms.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Not the awful scars that covered his own arms, but short and long neat little slices that had healed a bit thicker and paler than the skin around them. The horned, purple figure who looked too much like Mollymauk was cooing at him, holding him up with a broad grin.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Hello, there, Mr. Caleb.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The strange, satyr like Molly was completely focused on the cat.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Caleb tried to call out a warning, but he was a cat.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>There was a dark figure behind the cooing, horned figure, and that familiar glaive was suddenly apparent through Molly’s sternum, bright red blood spraying out, just as deep and crimson as the unfathomable eyes, still open wide.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The dark figure moved closer as Molly’s legs buckled, and twisted the glaive.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Then he saw the thick, black leather boot come swinging towards him, and his cat was no more.</em>
</p><p>He flew upright in his bed, heart pounding.</p><p>Caleb was not, in fact, a cat. And he was very much alive.</p><p>It was early morning, the sun not yet breaching through the window of his dorm room.</p><p>Most likely, Mollymauk was alive, across the hall, just like he had been the last time Caleb had that dream. There was no need to double check, because his dreams were not real, and everything was fine.</p><p>He was getting too attached.</p><p>When he gave Mollymauk the returned favor of breakfast the next day, he did it without striking up a conversation, and left class early to prepare for his tutoring sessions the next day. There was no need to stop and chat.</p><p>All he needed to do was work, go to his classes, and make sure he stayed safe so he could stand trial against Ikithon.</p><p>It wasn’t long before he’d done all the possible work he could do. He was weeks ahead in his homework and his tutoring plans, and he’d read an entire novel just to procrastinate going back to his dorm.</p><p>Tonight he wouldn’t let Nott convince him to go to the lounge, or go to the roof in case Mollymauk was there. He’d pull back, and stop fostering these connections. He couldn’t grow to care about these people. That was far too dangerous.</p><p>“Caleb, I got the mail for our dorm today and there was a letter for you. It looks important,” Nott said, eyes wide and clearly very interested in the contents of the envelope.</p><p>As soon as Caleb saw the return address, his stomach dropped.</p><p>It was the prosecutors for Ikithon’s case.</p><p>He’d be expected in court soon.</p><p>He’d be expected to go and talk to the prosecutors with Dairon to try and build up some kind of a case that would end with Ikithon in jail and Caleb feeling safe.</p><p>It all felt so far away that Caleb didn’t even realize he’d frozen in the middle of the small living room.</p><p>“Caleb?” Nott asked, frowning up at him. “Are you okay? Can I get you anything?”</p><p>He shook his head stiffly. “I am fine. Just tired. I think I’m going to go lie down.”</p><p>She nodded, still concerned. “Jester’s coming over for a girls night, but I can cancel if you want.”</p><p>“Nein, nein, I’m fine,” he mumbled, grabbing his backpack again. He just needed to be alone.</p><p>Nott didn’t look convinced but let him go. “If you want to hang out with us, we’ll have pizza later. I won’t make you paint your nails this time.”</p><p>“Danke, Nott. I’m fine,” he mumbled, slipping back into his room while she continued to prepare for her girls night. He could already see the nail polish and face masks set up on the table. They must have been preparing for a while. He wouldn’t ruin that for Nott.</p><p>“Let me know if you need anything! I can just bring you some pizza later, if you want!” she called after him, but he was still shaking.</p><p>He grabbed Frumpkin and tried his best to read the letter. Then everything went to shit.</p><p>It all happened so fast.</p><p>Something in Caleb’s dorm room smelled like fire.</p><p>He had just gotten the letter with the definitive trial information from the prosecutors and Dairon, and the dorm room smelled like fire. It wasn’t a hallucination this time, he was sure.</p><p>He was so startled he dropped Frumpkin, only thinking in a blind panic. They both needed to get out of there. He opened the door back to the living room, but the smell was even stronger there. He needed to grab Frumpkin and get them the fuck out of there, <em>now.</em></p><p>Nott was speaking with him, asking what was going on, but he couldn’t register her words. He could just grab his backpack and run away. There was enough in there to live for a while. An extra change of clothes, some soap, an extra toothbrush and toothpaste. Even a little cat food. He knew what he was doing.</p><p>All he needed to do was catch Frumpkin, who was still just as spooked as he was. He reacted too strongly to his master knowing there was danger, reverting back to some of his instincts as a stray.</p><p>Jester was coming inside the dorm room, door wide open to call to someone down the hall.</p><p>“Close-Close the door!” Caleb called out frantically, stumbling after the cat and sinking to his knees as the orange blur disappeared from his vision.</p><p>“What? Caleb? What was that?” Jester looked around her legs, though Frumpkin was long gone.</p><p>Nott was behind him, asking if he was okay. Someone was calling Jester’s name in the hallway.</p><p>But Caleb didn’t really hear any of it, sinking completely to the floor by the door and feeling the tears well up.</p><p>His only friend.</p><p>He was alone again.</p><p>Maybe he should just let the fire take him too, this time.</p><p>He’d certainly deserve it.</p><p>“Caleb, what’s wrong? What did I do?” Jester asked, kneeling in front of him and sounding like she might start to cry herself.</p><p>Nott put a tentative hand on his shoulder that he instantly recoiled from. He needed to get out of here. “Caleb, was that your cat?”</p><p>How did she know about Frumpkin? Fear filled him before he realized she must have known and not cared. She must have known and let him keep Frumpkin.</p><p>Perhaps he should have trusted her more.</p><p>But his eyes flickered to Jester. “Ich-I do not have a cat. I have never had a cat. Cats are not allowed on campus. A cat on campus would be terrible. He could escape and run out in the road and get hit by a car or starve to death or get kicked by a stranger or-or-”</p><p>His breaths were coming faster and he couldn’t choke back the sob that escaped his throat.</p><p>Frumpkin had trusted him and he failed. </p><p>Maybe he’d be better off without Caleb ruining everything.</p><p>“We’ll find them, Caleb. What color are they?” Nott asked, Jester nodding quickly beside her, as if to inspire confidence in how she wouldn’t rat him out.</p><p>He took a deep breath that shook almost as much as he did, “He is orange.”</p><p>“Orange cat. Okay. We can do this.”</p><p>Nott stood up and stuck a hand out to Jester.</p><p>Then everything got worse as Molly walked through the still open door. “Nott, Jester, is everything okay? What’s that smell—Caleb?”</p><p>He curled further in on himself, trying to will himself to disappear.</p><p>Nott explained what had happened to Frumpkin quickly- another person who knew, who could get Caleb kicked out in a second, who could ruin Caleb’s life- and asked Molly to help them look.</p><p>And with all the confidence in the world, Mollymauk said, “I have a plan.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thank you for reading! this story updates every saturday &lt;3</p><p>also it feels super weird to plug this here, but I'm running a kickstarter for cute totoro enamel pins and it's 91% funded! so if you like totoro, or cute pins, or ever wished I had a kofi or something for the equivalent of 5 full length novels worth of writing I've posted here, it'd be awesome for people to check it out: <a href="https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/lilacwonderland/sakura-tororo-enamel-pins">totoro pin kickstarter</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Mutually Assured Destruction</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Finding a lost cat before Res Life finds out is a group activity</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>This vision was a bit more normal than some of Molly’s other dreams.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>A wide, open field with a campsite. Someone he loved was nearby, listening to the rolling thunder on the horizon, but here it was calm and quiet, the sun setting steadily and the two moons rising up above the plains.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Mollymauk poked at the campfire with a charred stick, listening to the crackle and the wind in the grass.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He could see for miles, and there was something winding through the grass towards him, small and low to the ground. A hand on the hilt of his sword, he waited, just prodding the fire. Likely, something that small couldn’t hurt him, but it didn’t hurt to be prepared.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>A little bengal cat trotted out towards the fire, heading straight to butt against Molly’s leg. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Molly couldn’t help but coo, picking up the cat and holding him carefully in front of his face. “Hello there.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The cat meowed softly, lifting a paw and gently poking Molly’s cheek.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He laughed, watching the cat lean forward to lick his nose. He only laughed harder at the imagined sensation of the sandpaper tongue, pulling the cat down into his lap.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The bengal stared up at him, amber eyes glowing before they blinked and turned a familiar blue.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Caleb?”<br/></em>
</p>
<p>Molly blinked his eyes open from the first restful nap he’d had in weeks.</p>
<p>It was almost six in the evening already though, and his stomach was grumbling from sleeping through a normal lunch time. He’d probably fucked up his chances of actually getting a decent night’s sleep with a nap like that, but he felt refreshed enough in the moment that he didn’t give a fuck. So for now, he threw on a sweatshirt over his tank top and ran across the street in the cold to grab something quickly from the cafeteria. </p>
<p>Once he was full of cheap pastries and cheaper coffee, he headed back to floor nine of the Sehanine Building. Maybe he’d stop by the lounge after he dropped off his bag.</p>
<p>“Hi, Molly!” Jester grinned, waving to him from down the hall as he walked towards his room.</p>
<p>He smiled and waved back, “Hey, Jester! You hanging out with Nott today?”</p>
<p>“Yup! Girls Night! You wanna join?” she asked, hanging on the doorframe of Caleb and Nott’s room. </p>
<p>That might be nice, to allow himself a little pampering before he tried to sleep again, especially if neither Nott or Jester would be hanging out in the lounge tonight. From the look of Jester’s nails the past few months, she had quite a big nail polish collection too. “Maybe I’ll stop by later.”</p>
<p>She nodded, moving to close the door when she let out a strange sound. Molly, with his head buried in his bag to look for his keys looked up in surprise. “Everything okay?”</p>
<p>Jester didn’t answer, just quickly going back in the apartment and talking to what sounded like Nott and maybe Caleb.</p>
<p>Maybe it was all the dreams Molly had been having about fire, or the fact that Caleb seemed wary of fire and smoke in real life, but he noticed then a strange burning smell that definitely wasn’t allowed in the dorms. Had Nott lit a candle?</p>
<p>Did she not know?</p>
<p>Of course Caleb wouldn’t mention it to her. That would be too close to actually taking care of himself.</p>
<p>Molly peeked his head in the door, “Nott, Jester, is everything okay? What’s that smell—Caleb?”</p>
<p>Caleb was curled up in a ball near the door, close to hyperventilating and Nott and Jester looked like they might cry. Shit.</p>
<p>Nott said hurriedly, “Will you help us look for Caleb’s cat? He escaped, we need help.” </p>
<p>Shit, shit, shit.</p>
<p>Molly nodded slowly, looking back and forth to the panicking girls. It was clear what was needed here. “I have a plan.”</p>
<p>He saw some of the tension leave the two girls as he took over. As lovely as they were, their plans were a little convoluted and it sounded like time was of the essence here. “You two start looking. He can’t have gone far. I’ll take care of the rest.”</p>
<p>Nott and Jester nodded quickly and split up in the hallway. Jester was making little kissy sounds and Nott was just going, “Cat? Frumpkin? Or was it Pumpkin?”</p>
<p>Molly whipped out his phone to text the floor nine group chat, still standing in the open door of Caleb and Nott’s apartment. He knew everyone well enough by now to know that almost all of them would have some kind of dirt that would get Res Life to kick them out too. That’s why they were all stuck on floor nine, for the weirdos, to begin with. The only one he wasn’t completely sure about ratting them out if things went tits up was Fjord. But that was mostly because he’d heard about his allergy to cats a few times already, whenever Jester tried to show him cat videos in the lounge. He probably didn’t actually hate them as much as he let on.</p>
<p>It was a calculated risk, but Molly could always claim it was his cat if things got fucked up.</p>
<p>Caleb clearly cared a lot about that cat, and about going to school here. Molly didn’t. He was already failing some of his stupid core classes, and there was no way to make it all up before midterms. Maybe this would be the way out they both needed.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p><strong>Molly:</strong> Hey, we’ve got an escaped cat<br/><strong>Molly:</strong> Nott and Jester are already on lookout<br/><strong>Molly:</strong> Anyone who can help us find it before res life does will get a free dinner at Gilmore’s, on me<br/><strong>Molly:</strong> Obvi, please be discreet, we don’t want anyone from res life finding out</p>
  <p><strong>Beau:</strong> what kind of cat?</p>
  <p><strong>Fjord:</strong> I am very allergic to cats, please keep it away from my room.<br/><strong>Fjord:</strong> I mean, if I find it and tell you where, can I still get the dinner?</p>
  <p><strong>Molly:</strong> If it’s still there when I show up?<br/><strong>Molly:</strong> Yes, &amp; it’s orange</p>
  <p> <strong>Fjord:</strong> Cool.</p>
  <p><strong>Caduceus:</strong> I’m on my way back now.<br/><strong>Caduceus:</strong> I’ll keep an eye out.</p>
  <p><strong>Yasha:</strong> i was at the gym<br/><strong>Yasha:</strong> headed back now</p>
  <p><strong>Molly:</strong> Let me know as soon as you find him<br/><strong>Molly:</strong> We'll come get him<br/></p>
</blockquote><p>He sighed softly and then thought about anyone else he knew on campus. He was pretty sure Keyleth, who said she used to live in his dorm, wouldn’t snitch on them if she was allowed to pet a cat. She seemed like that kind of a nature lover, and it sounded like the last group of friends to live on this floor were still close, like he was hoping the rest of his friends on floor nine would stay. Also, she knew Caleb.</p>
<p>For a moment he deliberated the risks, then looked at Caleb, still curled up in a ball on the ground like the world was crumbling down around him.</p>
<p>Worth the risk.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p><strong>Molly:</strong> Hey, do you trust all your friends to help with something not quite allowed by res life???</p>
  <p><strong>Kiki:</strong> lol, Molly, Vex and I kept a rabbit in our room all of freshman year<br/><strong>Kiki:</strong> Scanlan was an ass about it, but what’s new there<br/><strong>Kiki:</strong> &amp; I’m pretty sure Vax kept a snake hidden in his room for a few months before Percy found out</p>
  <p><strong>Molly:</strong> Ok, cool<br/><strong>Molly:</strong> Someone’s cat escaped somewhere on nine<br/><strong>Molly:</strong> Would any of you be willing to help?? And swear to secrecy??</p>
  <p><strong>Kiki:</strong> oh, fuck<br/><strong>Kiki:</strong> most of us are at the Slayer’s Cake<br/><strong>Kiki:</strong> we’ll close up and head over</p>
  <p><strong>Molly:</strong> You’re a lifesaver</p>
  <p><strong>Kiki:</strong> ♡♡</p>
  <p><strong>Molly:</strong> ♡♡♡</p>
</blockquote><p>Then he looked around the room, finding the candle on the coffee table, blowing it out and putting the lid back on. Even if his dreams were exaggerating, that might help Caleb. He was still on the floor, curled up in a ball, and Molly couldn’t stop remembering that fucking haunted look on his face whenever Caleb talked about fire.</p>
<p>“Hey,” Molly said softly, seeing that he was still shaking.</p>
<p>There was a noncommittal sound from Caleb, but he didn’t seem to be crying as much anymore. Molly couldn’t tell if that was a good thing or not.</p>
<p>“Can you take a deep breath with me?” he said, exaggerating breathing in deeply through his nose and out through his mouth. Caleb didn’t answer, but took a larger breath, still trembling just a bit. “And one more.” This one was a bit better, Caleb seeming a bit more in control of himself.</p>
<p>“That’s great, thank you,” he said softly. “Want to wait somewhere that doesn’t smell like smoke? We’ll leave the door open if he comes back, but you can come across the hall, okay?” Molly offered Caleb a hand and felt bad almost immediately as Caleb flinched. Almost like he thought Molly would hit him or something. </p>
<p>Fuck.</p>
<p>He crouched down a bit, staying a fair distance away this time. “I’ve got chamomile tea. I think I even have milk and honey, if the milk hasn’t gone bad yet.”</p>
<p>That at least got a response, though it was just bloodshot blue eyes peering over knobbly kneecaps, filled with extreme skepticism at Molly’s attempt at kindness.</p>
<p>Molly very slowly stuck a hand out this time. “I know you don’t really trust me, or any of us that much, but I think getting away from the candle will help. We’re gonna find him, but you won’t be much help like this.” That might not have been the best thing to say, but Molly wasn’t a therapist. And he just wanted to get Caleb out of here.</p>
<p>Nodding stiffly, Caleb rose up, ignoring Molly’s hand again but looking as though he would follow.</p>
<p>"Perfect. Right this way then," Molly said, leaving Caleb's door ajar and bringing the quiet boy across the hall into his shared space with Yasha. "I can move a chair, but you can just sit on my bed too. Good view of the door and we can watch a movie or something."</p>
<p>Caleb gave a noncommittal shrug, just hovering in the doorway.</p>
<p>"Well, get comfy wherever. It's all the same to me. I'll start up the keurig."</p>
<p>He remained hovering until Molly propped up a pillow against the wall on his bed and indicated exactly where he could sit. Still unsure, he seemed to just be looking around the room.</p>
<p>That was fine. It wasn’t like there was anything bad in there.</p>
<p>Nothing as bad as a cat.</p>
<p>Eventually he sat down, right as Molly was finished putting honey in the tea and throwing out the definitely spoiled milk.</p>
<p>Silently, he took the mug as Molly clambered up into the bed beside him, leaving enough room for his laptop to sit in between them. "Any movie preferences?" he asked, prepared this time for the uncaring shrug.</p>
<p>He hummed and almost pulled up <em>The Cat Returns</em> before realizing that it would probably be a sore subject until they found Caleb’s cat. In the end he still wanted the calming effects of a Ghibli movie, if not for Caleb than for himself.</p>
<p>This certainly wasn’t how he imagined getting Caleb in his bed.</p>
<p>But as Caleb took a careful sip of tea and his eyes focused, less empty, on <em>Howl’s Moving Castle</em> Molly was pretty sure he’d done good. There were no cats in this movie, but it was pretty and mellow sounding, for the most part.</p>
<p>If Caleb hated animated movies, or thought it was too childish, he didn’t say anything. Just quietly drank his tea, allowing the soft tremors that occasionally wracked through his body to slow and eventually stop. And twenty minutes into the movie, there was a soft knock on his open door.</p>
<p>“Molly?” Keyleth said, poking her head in the door. “We’ve got something for you!”</p>
<p>Caleb perked up a bit, eyes wide.</p>
<p>There was an extremely fluffy orange cat in her arms, looking completely content to be held but now reaching out and leaning towards his owner.</p>
<p>When Keyleth saw the state Caleb was in, she moved a little quicker to bring the cat inside. Molly reached out to take the now empty mug of tea from Caleb so he’d have his hands free. “I take it this little fluff ball is yours?” she said softly, handing him over. </p>
<p>Gingerly Caleb took the cat into his arms and seemed to just crumple. His face smothered in fur and almost drowned out by purrs, he mumbled his thanks. Repeatedly. Molly never wanted to hug someone so badly in his life. Well, someone that he couldn’t actually hug.</p>
<p>“Of course, hun,” Keyleth smiled, stepping back and squeezing Vax’s hand.</p>
<p>Molly quickly let the rest of the group know the search was over in the group chat, and that everything was fine. But this little party in his room wasn’t exactly discreet. Still, there was something he needed to do first.</p>
<p>“Now, I hate to ask, but I think some mutually assured destruction is in order to keep everyone’s secrets secret,” Molly said, crossing his hands over his lap. “Just so that everyone is comfortable. We’re all friends here, after all. Let’s go around in a circle.”</p>
<p>The short boy, the pre-law student who was always flirting with Molly’s R.A. Pike, laughed. “That’s a fantastic idea. It’s about time we all got some good dirt on each other.”</p>
<p>Vax just shrugged. “I’ll go first. I picked the lock on Professor Vysoren’s desk and tried to steal exam answers last semester.” </p>
<p>Vex smacked his shoulder. “You <em>what?”</em> </p>
<p>“Hey, careful, Stubby-”</p>
<p>“You could have gotten <em>expelled,</em> you <em>moron-”</em></p>
<p>“Yes, yes, but I didn’t.”</p>
<p>“Okay, okay, that counts. Vex?” Molly asked.</p>
<p>She shifted. “I mean you already know Kiki and I kept a rabbit. My dog, Trinket’s named after the dear soul.”</p>
<p>“No, we need something current, otherwise the mutually assured destruction thing doesn’t work," Molly pointed out.</p>
<p>She scrunched up her nose. “Fine. I’ve done… some explicit activities in the professor’s lounge.”</p>
<p>“Oh my god, Stubby! Gross! I don’t want to hear that shit-”</p>
<p>“Shut the fuck up!”</p>
<p>Molly rolled his eyes. “Okay, okay, Grog?”</p>
<p>Grog rubbed his chin a moment, after smiling a quick greeting to a still silent Caleb. “Um… Vax helps me cheat on homework sometimes. Does that count?”</p>
<p>“Sure does, big guy,” Vax said from inside Vex’s headlock. “Percy, you’re next, old man.”</p>
<p>Percy was quickly turning pink, coughing into his hand. “I have, well, also, done explicit activities in the professor’s lounge.”</p>
<p>Scanlan perked up, “You’ve <em>what?”</em></p>
<p>Keyleth frowned, “Wait, isn't it weird that you and Vex both-”</p>
<p>Pike leaned over to whisper in her ear until her eye went wide. “Oh, congratulations!” Keyleth said, smiling and completely missing the embarrassment written across both their faces.</p>
<p>"Okay, okay, keep going," Molly encouraged.</p>
<p>"I've also fucked in the professor’s lounge. With a professor," Scanlan said, receiving some raised eyebrows. "Well, a TA."</p>
<p>"Gross, Scanlan," Vex said.</p>
<p>He rolled his eyes, "Oh, like you're one to talk, Miss 'Explicit Activities'-"</p>
<p>"Can we not talk about my sister fucking one of my best friends and roommate?" Vax grimaced.</p>
<p>Keyleth looked worried for a second, "I thought I was your best friend-"</p>
<p>"I think we're a little more than friends, Kiki-"</p>
<p>"Please," Molly said, eyes darting back to Caleb, who was mostly just sticking his face in Frumpkin’s fur, overwhelmed, "Keyleth, you're next."</p>
<p>"We don't do that much bad stuff," Keyleth said, shifting nervously. "Including telling on people and getting them kicked out."</p>
<p>Vex’s eyes widened. "Kiki you're <em>lying!</em> What did you do?"</p>
<p>"Okay, fine! I was the one who stole and released Mr. Mistoffelees!" she threw up her hands.</p>
<p>"Holy shit, Kiki, how could you not tell us?" Vex said, clearly more upset by the lie by omission than the act itself. </p>
<p>Molly couldn't help but to let out a shocked laugh. "You? You were the one who stole the mascot last year? That was all I could find when I googled this place."</p>
<p>"He was lonely! Every time they trotted that poor goat out for those stupid football games- no offense, Grog-"</p>
<p>"None taken."</p>
<p>"He looked like he was going to cry! Or keel over from boredom or over stimulation or both! I don't know, I just took him away and drove him to a farm up north of here." Keyleth crossed her arms, defensive. The only one who didn't look shocked was Vax. Definitely a partner in crime.</p>
<p>Pike spoke up then, saving her. "Um, Grog and I might have, in the past, set up a few, not technically legal fights, behind the Kord building."</p>
<p>Molly blinked. Maybe that's where Yasha and Beau disappeared to sometimes. "Well, okay then. I smoke weed up on the roof sometimes. Guess I need to get more exciting."</p>
<p>"Eh," Scanlan shrugged, "you're a freshman. You've got time."</p>
<p>"Well, this has been lovely. Kiki, thank you for finding little Frumpkin, but I think we're going to call it a night." Molly looked at Caleb again and saw how exhausted he really was.</p>
<p>The group said their goodbyes after a few extra pats to Frumpkin from Keyleth and Vex, then filed out of Molly’s room, leaving them alone.</p>
<p>Molly had moved Frumpkin’s litter box and food into his own room, tucked away underneath his desk when Caleb had escaped the candle. Most of the cat stuff was in a big duffel bag, ready to go at any time. Most of that was just to make sure if anyone asked about the cat, he could claim it was his. Before he could offer to help move it back, Molly’s phone buzzed.</p>
<p>Nott had texted Molly once everything calmed down, asking to come over. Five minutes later she showed up with pizza, apologizing profusely to Caleb the entire time. She was going to stay in Beau and Jester’s room, and said Caleb had been invited too, to help him relax away from the scene of the accident. She’d guessed correctly about the candle, and had already thrown it away. </p>
<p>There was an extra sleeping bag for Caleb in Beau and Jester’s room, though it would be cramped with Nott and Yasha on the floor already. But Yasha texted after Nott left to say he could just stay in her and Molly's room, if his own dorm hadn’t aired out yet. Either he could take her bed or Molly could and Caleb could sleep in his.</p>
<p>Molly looked up from his phone.</p>
<p>"Would you rather stay the night here with just me, instead of all the girls? You can have my bed and I'll take Yasha’s. You can go back to your room too, but all your stuff is here and it might still smell like smoke."</p>
<p>Caleb frowned, looking up from Frumpkin for the first time in over an hour. "What about Yasha?"</p>
<p>"I think she'd like the excuse to have a girl's night, quite frankly. I don't think she's ever had one." Molly started to worry about his bed then, until he remembered he washed his sheets not two days ago. He’d be a decent host, probably. Not that he’d ever done anything like this before.</p>
<p>Slowly Caleb nodded, burying his face in the cat’s fur again. "Ich… Ja. I'll stay, if you'll let me. I’d rather not take Frumpkin anywhere else yet."</p>
<p>"Right, of course," Molly said. "Do you want me to grab you some pajamas and your toothbrush or something?"</p>
<p>"Nott gave it to me already," he said, waving to his backpack.</p>
<p>His normal backpack, Molly noticed. As if he was ready to leave at a moment’s notice at any time. Who packed up their toothbrush each day?</p>
<p>"Right. Well, you're welcome to the bathroom and everything."</p>
<p>"Danke."</p>
<p>Molly shifted awkwardly, a bit unsure of exactly what to do next. He resolved to just act like he normally would, taking a shower and getting into his pajamas quickly so Caleb could take the bathroom whenever he wanted. </p>
<p>Yasha’s bed was piled with furs and just as luxurious as it looked. Despite his nap, Molly was kind of exhausted from the whole Frumpkin ordeal.</p>
<p>There was also something extremely relaxing about watching Caleb curled around the cute cat on Molly’s bed, especially after he’d gotten into some very comfortable looking pajamas and laid down properly.</p>
<p>But then they turned the lights out and he had to at least pretend to rest.</p>
<p>“Mollymauk?” A soft voice drifted across the room.</p>
<p>“Yeah?”</p>
<p>“Thank you.”</p>
<p>Molly grinned into the darkness, “Anytime, dear.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thank you for reading! nice long chapter for frumpy &lt;3</p>
<p>this story updates every saturday!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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